Aching and urgency

Aching:

Nothing concrete to report since my little post 3 weeks ago. It is probably enough to say that I didn't think it was possible to yearn more to have our sweet girls home than I have...and yet I do. The aching to have them home seems to increase exponentially every day.

When we were 2 years into our adoption journey (which started in Ethiopia) and things fell through we felt pulled to Haiti, but the thought of having to wait up to a year after meeting our child/children was my only real hurdle with starting our process over and beginning things in Haiti. Of course it is worth it, and no I shouldn't center myself in the adoption triad (much more trauma and loss has happened with the other two parties involved)...but sitting here 17 months later after having finally having held my girls and still not having them home has become exquisitely painful.

I ache to hold them again.

"The plan" was that if we signed on to adopt from Haiti that we would visit our child/children every 2-3 months while we waited to bring them home. The plan. Always a silly thing to have when adopting. Although it did work (with some stress/worry involving dangerous situations in Haiti) for us to visit every 2-3 months for a while. Until it didn't.

For 6 years we saved credit card miles to be able to make several visits to Haiti. We made 5 amazing visits to see our girls. To get to know them. To document them at those ages. To begin (an admittedly interrupted) bonding process. On my last visit Eleanor ran to me upon my arrival and threw her arms around my neck calling out, "Manman!!" (Mama) I celebrated their birthday with them and was sure we would be back weeks later to pick them up.

And then things took longer than expected. Again. And then there was another lockdown. And then our paperwork seemed to get stuck.

Now it's been 6 months since I've seen our girls. We kept thinking that we'd get our passport anytime. Every day I wake up hoping today will be the day.

Urgency:

I see your aching and I raise you one with obsessive urgency. That's where I am right now.

Eleven days ago the U.S. Embassy raised the travel advisory to its highest level. Level 4. To the same travel advisory as Afghanistan, Iraq, North Korea...

I knew that kidnappings were becoming more of a problem, and I knew that the Haitian police and military did just get into a shootout agains one another in the streets. I knew that Carnival was cancelled due to violence. I know that things get "hot" in Haiti quickly, but all of that happened in a level 3...including the country lockdown. So why the change now? It made me realize that things must be much more dangerous than I realized and after looking into things found that was the case. In addition to violent protests the kidnappings have spiked tremendously, including 12 foreigners during just the first 9 weeks of this year.

I began looking into armored services and guards. Who has used them? What would our pickup trip look like?

While bathing in all the hypotheticals of our pickup trip I also began to steep in growing worry over a growing epidemic called the Coronavirus. It spread from China to Italy and I could see that with the lack of measures being taken that it wouldn't be long before it came here with international travel.

Bam. And here it is. Along with declared pandemic status as of Wednesday. School is cancelled, we are social distancing (some of us more than others) and I am watching as countries understandably close borders.

And here's where the urgency comes in. Literally NOTHING has changed on our paperwork in the last 2 months! Nothing. No passports. No article 23 (and therefore no medicals)...and visa comes after that. And at midnight tonight Haiti is closing her borders to the DR, Europe and Latin America. Apparently they changed their mind and decided to leave their borders open to the U.S. after arrangements were made with U.S. officials that people traveling from the United States would have to provide documentation of negative COVID-19 status (that's what the virus has been officially called).

Let me be clear. Haiti needs to close her borders. I can't even fathom what a highly contagious virus like this would do in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere (Haiti)...with the state of the economy and lack of medical resources, people's immune systems already being weak due to lack of food, and conditions that lend themselves to facilitate an even faster spread.

My urgency is that...things are rapidly spreading in the United States. I think we'll see full border closure soon, and I think we'll see the same with Haiti. And then we won't be ABLE to get the girls home! Then not only will they not be here - with their home and family, but they'll also be vulnerable in a country being increasingly dictated by gangs controlling resources and the economic fallout of a virus decimating their island. This is of course my take on things. Nobody knows how it will progress, but with Italy and Spain on complete lockdown and doctors in Italy having to decide which patients get ventilators and which patients die...I can only imagine how bad things will be in Haiti.

I feel absolutely panicked about doing everything in my power to get our girls home.

There's only so much I can do, but I did reach out to family and friends asking for their prayers. The last time I did that was 17 months ago and 8 days later we received our long awaited referral. I have many other examples of combining faith and prayer in my life, and I felt impressed to swallow my pride and reach out pleading for everyone's prayers. That we would find intervention on our behalf to get the girls home before borders close.

I also wrote both of our state Senators and the U.S. Embassy in Haiti yesterday. I've been communicating with our adoption facilitator (Chareyl) and followed up with phone calls to both Senator's offices today. By the time I called the Embassy to follow up it was 1:45 here, but it was 3:45 there and they had just closed 15 minutes earlier. I felt like I had failed.

I was so grateful to get a return phone call later in the day from Senator Romney's office. He called to let me know that he'd like me to fill some paperwork out and sign a release giving their office to speak on our behalf. Ummm...yes! Their is a joint team between Senator Lee's and Senator Romney's office that has international social workers familiar with the adoption process and climate as well as resources and connections that they can offer as they advocate for us.

I compiled all the information they needed and sent things over to them as quickly as I could, but missed getting it there before closing by about 5 minutes. Grrrr. Hopefully I'll hear from them in the morning and if not I'll call to make sure everything was in order because I need them to reach out to the Embassy in Haiti while they still have time to do anything before the end of their work day.

Also, Chareyl let me know that our agency rep and our orphanage rep are going to meet tomorrow morning. I pray that happens, as the last several meetings have turned into no-shows. If that happens and we get passports then I think we are in business...especially if the Embassy is able/willing to waive the girls' medicals (which will take a week to get results back) and expedite their visas.

If this all falls into place (God willing) then we could be picking up our girls this week. I will continue to push on the U.S. side and Chareyl will continue to push on the Haiti side and I pray things will come through before borders close. If they don't I will be heartbroken, but I will know that I did all that I could.

And then I will have to find a way to fall back on my faith.

In the meantime I prefer to use my faith as a driving force. Something active. Something powerful and able to work miracles...if that is what is meant to be.

I pray it is.