Monday, November 7, 2016

Prayers & fasting instead of passivity

I don't have the time right now to delve into much of the emotional background of things right now (and I've learned that if I wait until I do to wright things won't get done).  So!  I will just say that I had an epiphany (which sounds much less impressive when I explain it) recently.  I'll explain it briefly (well...briefly for me anyway):

Being over 4 years into our adoption process we are well aware that we have to be patient and "wait well" during this process or it will eat you up.  We know that things will work out how and when they are supposed to, but sometimes I feel like I am just supposed to keep my head down and just patiently wait it out.  I recently had the impression that, at this time specifically, that I need to be proactive instead of passive in our waiting process.  This sounds ridiculous since there is literally nothing that I can do to help things along...until I realized that there was.

I believe that faith is a principle of action and power and that when put into action faith can replace the fear, worry, or anxiety that I often feel during our wait.  I also believe that my Father in Heaven hears my when I pray and wants to bless me if I just remember to ask Him in faith.  So as simple and elementary as it epiphany was that I need to be proactive in our adoption process by strengthening my faith, petitioning my Father in Heaven to watch over our little girl and to help those in Haiti who are processing her paperwork for us to be matched to her.  I also realized that I needed to be willing to be vulnerable and ask those close to me who would be willing to join me in this process.

My belief is that there are big things that need to happen with our little girl's paperwork and that we need the power of God and the angels of heaven to assist us in making this happen how and when it is supposed to.  I may not know any of the specifics...but I know my Father in Heaven does.  I may not be able to help anything progress this process...but He can.  I may not know who our child is or when we will be able to meet her...but He does.  I may not be able to sooth and comfort my soul...but He can.  So, yesterday I joined some family and close friends in fasting and praying for these things.

I yearn for the day that I can fill this photo frame which for years has sat empty waiting on my dresser...but until then I am choosing to actively replace my worry and yearning for information with faith.