Life post-bonding trip

I don't have any pictures to accompany this post, but in order for me to feel "current" with this blog I feel like I need a generic update post. This weekend it will have been 6 weeks since we had to say goodbye to our two sweet girls. Here are the basics on what has happened since then...

One thing that softened part of the blow of leaving the girls (besides that we got to see our little boys we missed) was that I had been sick for several days before leaving Haiti. I tried to not focus on it because this was such an important and special time with our girls, but the last couple days I was becoming really weary. I brought a parasite home with me and came home really exhausted and had to stay close to a bathroom. I got medication, and things got significantly better...but without including a whole lot of disgusting information I'll just say that things have continued to be a struggle until just yesterday. I turned a corner yesterday with my health and am feeling very encouraged. That was a long month and half to keep on functioning while not feeling well though (and through the holidays).

The other thing that was discouraging was the day after we got home I got packets from the Department of Homeland security. I was excited and thought that we already were receiving approvals for our I800 applications we sent in before going to Haiti. Instead, our packets were being returned and they told us that we had used an old government form and needed to print the new one and fill it all out and send them back. I did so and we got it sent back quickly, but I was irked that the only difference I found between the forms was one font change and the date printed in the corner saying when the form was last updated. So annoying. I filled out packets for both girls again though, we gave them to Chareyl who went through everything and we sent them back.

...Fastforward about 5 weeks and I'm getting the mail again. Mail from Department of Homeland Security! Surely it's approval finally, right? Nope. RFE. That's a request for evidence. Grrr...

I contacted Chareyl and let her know and she looked into things. She called me that night. The hallelujah chorus (her ringtone on my phone) started to blare and I was grateful to get a call from her. She explained to me what was missing and told me that she already contacted Nisthone in Haiti and that he would see what he could do at IBESR the next day. I can't tell you how grateful I was that she would not only communicate with me after business hours, but also reach out to Nisthone then as well to get things moving.

The very next day she let me know that Nisthone was able to get the document necessary from IBESR, he scanned it to her, Chareyl sent it to be translated to English and Chareyl added her notarized letter to all of that and overnighted it to IBESR. Bam! Just like that! Although I was sad to have another delay I was beyond grateful for the speed in which it was resolved. Grateful that the document was accessible and that Nisthone and Chareyl got everything done so quickly.

So, hopefully we'll have our preliminary I800 approval soon and hopefully a visa appointment not long after that!

Another thing to update is that we have our next TWO visits booked! Mark will be leaving in less than 4 weeks (going with his mom) and I will go (with my mom) in April! I hope we see lots of progress in the girls' files during that time and that we start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel by then. I'm thinking that I'll probably take Noah to visit them in June, but we haven't booked that yet.

The only other thing I can think of to update on is that I was contacted by someone who just finished working for c4c and she send me a ton of pictures of the girls which was so amazing. I mean these are treasures. She even included a video clip of one of the girls when they were learning how to walk. I am just reminded over and over how blessed we are. Blessed to have been given a referral for these two amazing, beautiful girls. Blessed that they have received the medical attention necessary. Blessed to live in the orphanage they do. Blessed that we'll be able to visit while we wait. Blessed to receive all these pictures. So very blessed.

Temporary goodbyes

This is the post I've been dreading to write.

Frequently during our bonding trip I struggled not to become emotional at the thought of leaving our two sweet girls and going home without them. I couldn't bear the thought. I heeded the advice Chareyl wisely gave me to not allow myself to dwell too much on that during our bonding trip and to savor the time we had there with the girls while we were there. I think I did a pretty good job of that, but on Sunday (December 2nd) I found that I really had to fight back emotion a lot more than other days.

We spent every possible second that we could with the girls that day. Soaked in nap time snuggles. Played. Danced. Smooched. In fact...El really opened up to me and Mark caught some videos of her giving me lots of kisses and even saying "I yuv you!" to me. There are two video clips he took in that last hour of time we spent with them that are the most precious to me from our time with them. They are both just so sweet and funny and cute and I love them so much.

We tried to be really compliant about things we were supposed to do while there (like when to have the girls back to the orphanage), but that last night we drug our feet a little. We brought them back half an hour late and I'm pretty sure that we walked slower than normal when we headed back to the orphanage. I asked Mark to carry both twins so I could walk behind him and snap a couple pictures and because I was really struggling emotionally. Here we are walking out of the guesthouse toward the gate to leave the grounds there...

In this picture you can see the abandoned tap-tap we passed everyday as we walked up to the orphanage...

Here we are approaching the green gate to the orphanage. As we walked through the gate I struggled to imagine leaving those green gates without them and knowing that we'd leave at the crack of dawn the next morning to leave without them. It was so, indescribably painful. I tried to keep a smile on my face since I knew it would just be confusing to the girls and they had no idea what was going on.

When we got inside the green gate, Mark handed Il to me and we each walked up the stairs inside the orphanage to put the girls in their beds and say goodbye. The sun was just going down and their was no electricity at that time in the orphanage. The room quickly began to darken as we put each of the girls in their beds and they cried and protested and that was as much as my heart could take. Tears began to quietly stream down my face. I was grateful for how dark it was because I knew nobody else could see them. We lingered longer than normal, not wanting to leave the room (which is never helpful for a two year old that is protesting bedtime). At this point one of the older girls at the orphanage walked up near me and noticed my tears. She spoke enough English that we told her that we were saying goodbye and had to leave in the morning, which she relayed to the nannies. These were the weekend nannies and they don't have much of a pulse of what is going on as the weekday nannies do. They gave us our space to give some extra hugs and kisses to our two protesting little girls. Then somehow we managed after saying I love you to turn and walk out of that room. My heart physically hurts to even write and think about this again right now. That was such a difficult thing to do, to walk away.

As we walked down the stairs word quickly spread through the older girls at the orphanage that "Mama Abby" was crying and the girls sweetly came to hug and console me. These sweet little girls who have experienced more loss and heartache in their young lives than I likely ever will...they comforted me. It was so tender.

We went with all the older kids and sat in the main living area where we passed out a bunch of treats that we had left. One sweet little boy named Alferado (who I'd been sending pictures to his mama that's waiting to bring him home) even came up and sweetly rubbed my the side of my shoulder to gently comfort me. Another little boy climbed up into my lap and let me hold him, which I didn't even know that I needed but I really did. Eventually the tears stopped falling, though the ache in my heart didn't. We enjoyed a last few minutes with these older kiddos that we had also grown to care so much about and then we had to say goodbye to them too.

Mark and I held hands as we walked out of the orphanage and through the green gate. It was starting to get quite dark at this point and that somehow seemed fitting for how I felt. I just had to keep telling myself that this was just a temporary goodbye. We'd be back to visit and then someday they will come home with us forever.

The next morning we got up at 4:30 and got the last of our things together and our driver came to pick us up for our drive to the airport!

This is a picture of Mark with Keke (who manages the guesthouse) and one of the guards who cared so cheerfully and kindly over our comings and goings during those two weeks. He always had a kind word for the girls when we came and left and we appreciated that. Keke did all the behind the scenes things for us and we could always count on him cheerfully checking in with us at night before we turned in for the evening.

This isn't a great photo, but I wanted to remember how amazing this was. On our drive to the airport very early in the morning (before the sun was up) the streets were lined with people walking to work, carrying their goods to sell at market, and kids starting their sometimes long walk to school. The dedication and work ethic was so impressive to me. Many people were walking on the long road that goes from the city to the mountains and it was apparent that they had been walking for sometime. Just another piece to the patchwork of what makes Haiti what it is...and I want to be able to share those things with our girls someday.

We got to the airport nice and early and got situated in the American Airlines terminal with some tasty croissants (with a delicious melted cheese inside) and a hot cocoa. Yum-o. I tried to focus on being excited to see our boys that we were missing and on looking forward to enjoying the comforts that I've been so spoiled to enjoy at home.

Somehow, taking off and watching the island of Haiti beneath us made leaving the girls feel more official. It was like my heart was stretching from where it was to the ground in Haiti and being pulled only tighter as we lifted higher into the air. I longed for the day that we would take off on a plane like this with the girls in a seat next to us. We had only been away from them for just over 12 hours, but I missed them so much. I kept reminding myself again that this was temporary and to be grateful for that. I am. And I also miss them...

Goodbye to my two sweet baby girls...but just for now.

I miss your sweet cuddles and soft lips giving me smooches. I miss your scrunchy nose smiles and the way you keep tabs on each other. I miss the eyebrow pops and hands reaching up to be held. I miss your dance moves and how you love looking out windows together. I miss your teasing and silliness. I miss watching your daddy put lotion on your arms or your nanny dumping baby powder down your neck. 

I miss so many things about you. But I'm so glad that it's just a temporary heartache.

Naptime excursion

Alison offered to take us to the nearby baptist mission during the girls nap time on Saturday (December 1st), so we put the girls down for their nap time at the orphanage that day we went with her to enjoy lunch and the views there. I was also pleased that they had a large shop to buy locally made items and I got a lot of our Christmas shopping for family done at that time. Normally I hit the online sales on black Friday and cyber Monday, but we were gone for Thanksgiving and all of that so this was a nice (and more meaningful way) to catch up on some of that shopping. Plus that money goes back into the economy here in Haiti!

Here are some pictures of the views we enjoyed from lunch. Breathtaking, isn't it??

We snapped this picture of Alison and I after saying our goodbyes (since she wouldn't be working the next day which was our last day there). We appreciated all she did to help coordinate things for us during our bonding trip and everything she does, directly and indirectly, for our sweet girls!

Dr. visits (and a trip to PaP)

I have mentioned that Chances for Children operates a medical clinic and that it's right next to the guest house (entrance through the same gate). They employee two physicians and a handful of nurses to run this pediatric medical clinic that is open to the community. It costs $1.50 to be seen for an appointment and you just show up and get a number and wait to be seen.

We took the girls over one afternoon for a checkup and to go over what information they have in their chart. The staff and Dr. Augustine were wonderful.

We are choosing (like most parents do) to keep our girls health concerns private so I won't be sharing those here, but I will tell you that both girls were nervous at this appointment...but that Il was super, super scared and she screamed the entire time that she was on the exam table. The doctor even turned to me and asked me if this was normal behavior for her and he was pleased to hear that it isn't. We appreciated how thorough he was with looking at the girls and answering our questions and he wrote us a prescription for some testing that we needed to have done in Port-au-Prince. 

We were able to go (with a driver and nurse Makenzi) to PaP on one of our last days spent in Haiti. On Friday, November 30th we made the drive down the mountain. First we went to a clinic and then to the hospital. Makenzi was so great to take care of communicating everything for us and the girls were champs. I was relieved that Il didn't seem distressed like she did at the prior doctor visit and neither of them fussed at their blood draw either.

I have to mention on thing that was funny...we didn't know until right before we left that we were able to go to PaP that day for their appointments. We already had dressed them in matching outfits we brought with us, so that is what they wore. Staff at both the clinic and hospital we took them to commented on how baffled they were at how alike they looked and that they couldn't tell them apart. One even triple checked to make sure that she wasn't helping the same child the second time around. It was pretty amusing.

Taking the drive to PaP was quite the adventure for the girls. Some of it they seemed to be interested in and some of it they fussed and didn't enjoy. So, basically they were 2 year olds.

Anyway, the drive back to the orphanage took significantly longer. It was a full day to make the drive and visit both appointments. We were pretty tired once we got back, but tried to soak in as much as we could of the vibrancy of this country of our children's birth.

And a couple very short video clips we took while driving...

I just have to comment briefly on these last couple photos. On our way back to the guesthouse/orphanage we had to navigate a road with a market running on either side.  I can't tell you how glad I was that we weren't behind the wheel as he maneuvered merchants and oncoming traffic like here...

I'm so grateful that our girls are able to get this medical attention. I'm also so grateful that they have such a sweet relationship with nurse Makenzi. You can tell they really love her. She held El most of the drive home since the winding roads were making Mark feel sick and El was fussy. It became more and more difficult to imagine leaving the girls as we neared the end of our time in Haiti, but it certainly did soften things to know that they are receiving such good care, and that they have caregivers that love them...and they love too.

Checking a big box...and roadblocks

There are two main reasons for the mandatory 15 day socialization visit or bonding trip as it's called.

First of all, it's to meet your child/children and bond with them. 

Secondly, it's so you can have your interview with a social worker with IBESR (employed by Haitian government) and they can ask questions and make observations to write a report with their recommendation on the match and moving forward with finalizing the adoption.

One thing that I know would have been mentioned in my blogging if I had written each day during our time in Haiti was my worry about the social worker making it up to Kenscoff for our visit. There was a lot of unrest during our time there, to put it mildly. Alison had even suggested before we came that I look into our airlines policy for waiving fees in situations of political unrest and in case we needed to reschedule our bonding trip for when things were more stable. We didn't do that, but we were cautious to have plenty of bottled water on hand arriving in Haiti in case we became stranded somewhere. That didn't happen luckily. The day before we arrived there were a lot of protests, and even plenty later in the day after we arrived...but we traveled from Port-au-Prince to Kenscoff without incidence. We could see places where roadblocks had been burning tires recently, but nothing at the time we needed to get through.

Let me give a bit of background (which will only touch on a very complex economic and political environment in Haiti)...after the huge 2010 earthquake which killed around 300,000 people the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere (Haiti) was simply decimated. In order to help, Haiti received temporary subsidies to cover the huge gas prices. Those were to be passed on to the people to make things affordable for them as they moved forward. Last July the government announced (sneakily during a huge World Cup soccer match that they whole county was watching) that the subsidies would end and gas prices would be skyrocketing. It is difficult to put into context in our lives what an an announcement like that means to people who are already struggling with severe poverty. It would means businesses would go under, people could not buy gas and get to work, it was devastating and angering to Haitians and they have never been people to roll over and not stand up to injustice. (This is the country with the first successful slave revolt we're talking about)

So, in July there were huge protests that turned very violent and unfortunately deadly. It was saddening and frightening for me to follow from my computer here at home.

Now, fast forward four months to November. People had been trying to understand where all the years of subsidy money went for the people's gasoline. It couldn't be properly accounted for. Apparently it was discovered that the paper trail ended right at the feet of a number of high government officials. The people (understandably) demanded that these government officials be investigated and they were met with silence. That led to protests that escalated to demands for the President to step down since he wouldn't investigate these government officials (who have been in office for prior presidencies as well as his own).

I don't claim to be an expert on all of this, but that is the information that I have gathered and as I understand it. I can understand the Haitian people's frustration and anger with their government, and I can even understand the protests. The violence that breaks out, sometimes quickly and unpredictably makes me a bit afraid though...but protests are most often registered ahead of time and the area can be avoided most of the time. The problem comes when a necessary road is blocked off and you can't (and shouldn't) go through. While we were there an airport shuttle attempted to go around an active roadblock and they opened fire on it hitting passengers inside. Someone from France and a Haitian-American were among those injured in that incident.  There were also fatalities involved in protests that week.

So you can understand why I was grateful that we made it safely out of Port-au-Prince up into the mountains (and I'm so grateful the orphanage is in Kenscoff away from areas of protest)...and why I also would worry about if our social worker would be able to make it to our visit. There is a road that goes from PaP to Kenscoff that is a popular place to roadblock that makes it so you can't get up or down the mountain and I worried about how that would affect things.

For a good part of the time we were in Haiti a lot of the country was shut down...the government was closed off and on, schools closed, businesses closed because people couldn't get to work. I worried about Haitians who already struggle to make ends meet needing to get to work so they can provide for themselves and what that was meaning to them. I worried about us not having a social worker visit scheduled, and what would happen if it was at the end of our visit and then he couldn't get to us. What if we couldn't get out of the country?...

At one point Chareyl (our adoption facilitator back home) texted us letting us know that since the protests had gotten so aggressive that she reached out to the embassy and let them know our situation and location just in case. She also had us register for text updates from them to keep us updated on where protests were that were heating up or other unrest to be aware of. We got texts most days.

Slowly the embassy texts did slow down (I think protestors themselves couldn't keep it up) and we were grateful to hear that we had our social worker visit scheduled for Thursday, November 29th. The last business day available for us to do that would have been the following day, so it made me a little nervous but I was hopeful that if there was a problem Thursday that they'd make it work the next day.

We were with the girls at the orphanage (the community learning partners were there with the kids) and we were notified that IBESR was on their way to the orphanage. All of the sudden I felt nervous. I was glad, but all of the sudden the reality of the importance of this interview settled in.

Over the prior 6 years we have faced so many roadblocks in our adoption journey. I really won't even try to list them here, but there have been many and it has been difficult. The irony wasn't lost on me that while in Haiti I was fearing very literal roadblocks coming in the way of our adoption proceeding. I was so grateful that on November 29th that wasn't the case. Before we knew it our assigned case worker arrived with Nisthone and we headed back to an office inside the orphanage to have our interview. We picked up the girls and carried them into the room and sat down. They became very serious being in the room with two men that they did not know.

They started by asking if we had our passports, which we didn't. Luckily we were very close to the guesthouse so Mark ran over to get them quickly. I had a manila envelope with every other document I could think of that they might ask for, but they didn't need any of them...of course I didn't think to bring our passports. Oh well. Easy fix.

When Mark got back we jumped right in to things. Nisthone had been talking at first, but then the social worker (his name was also Mark) spoke and we realized he spoke great English! He said that he had 2 other interviews at other orphanages that day, so in order to save time that he would just speak English, but that Nishtone would be there to listen and make sure he was communicating properly or in case there was any difficulty with us communicating directly. He proceeded to ask us a series of questions and it was nice to be able to answer without a translator as sometimes a bit of humor which could be lost in translation was nice.

There were several questions, none of which were difficult to answer, but I remember two clearly. He asked early in the interview for each of us to introduce the other spouse and to tell what we like the least about their job. And toward the end of the interview he asked us if we felt like the twins were a good match for us. I was so overcome with emotion that I had to have Mark field that one. I am so sure that these little girls are meant to be part of our family and I love them so much already that there is no hesitation at all for me to answer that affirmatively.

Something else interesting that was said was that they felt that us having already adopted a child helped make us a good fit for the match of these girls. He asked some questions about our adoption of Noah (which I'm always happy to talk about) and we also were able to express our love for his first mother...and extend that to how we feel about the twins' mother.

Another part of the interview that still stands out to me is the advise he gave us to cocoon (he didn't use that word, but explained the concept) for a minimum of 4-6 weeks. We certainly plan on that and will adjust how long and how tightly we do that depending on what we observe with the girls.

Before we knew it the interview was done. We asked if the four of us could take a picture with Nisthone and Mark (the social worker), which we did. We stepped out and thanked Nisthone for all that he has done for our family. He was instrumental in us getting the referral to our girls. He also happens to be a member of the same church as we are, so since we knew that we share fundamental views on deity...we were able to express in a card we gave him how grateful we were that he was instrument in the Lords hand in helping the girls find their way into our eternal family.

After our interview was done we walked back over to the guesthouse. The girls were sleepy and Mark snapped this picture of Il cuddling me on the walk back over to the guesthouse. The yellow gate you see on the right is the entrance to the guesthouse...

I miss our girls so much, but am so grateful that with all the roadblocks we've hit along this journey that literal roadblocks didn't hinder us being able to check the box of meeting with IBESR's social worker that day. Now to just find out that his write up was favorable (I imagine it will be) and to finally get provisional I800 approval so we can get that visa appointment scheduled!!!

Sunday funday

Well, what we did on Sunday wouldn't normally fit the title of "Sunday funday" as I've heard some people use it...but it sure was that for me!

One of the highlights of our time visiting the girls was the first Sunday we got to spend with them.

This was on November 25th and we had been in Haiti for nearly a week at this point. The girls had really warmed up to us by that point, but were definitely still showing a parent preference. When we brought them back to the orphanage the night before we left pretty outfits for the nanny to put on the girls for church the next day. We picked them up Sunday morning and brought them over to the guest house since Alison was running just a few minutes behind on picking us up. We didn't mind anyway because we were enjoying time with our cute girls, but we ended up being really grateful that we had those extra few minutes because we had a little impromptu photo shoot on the steps at the guesthouse. They are some of our favorite pictures of the girls from that trip. They were both so cute and cheerful and Il especially hammed it up for us. I can't include any of the pictures we took except this one, but it's to help me remember how fun those moments were...

How cute is El playing with her pretty shoes??!

After spending the last week in such a limited area it felt really nice to venture out and with our girls on our hips. It was fun to see everyone dressed in their best walking to churches and kids running around. It was also nice to see a bit more of the area in Kenscoff right where we were staying. Those mountains are so beautiful and the trees and plants and flowers are so lovely. On our walk to and from the church we attended we passed by this church that people were attending and it was pretty unique so I wanted to include a photo of it...

I don't have any pictures from the church service we attended, but I can write a little bit about it. We arrived a little bit late and went up to sit in the upper balcony. Alison met her husband (who is Haitian) there and I didn't know until after the service that we were sitting behind Nathan's wife and daughter too. Nathan is the rep for our agency who works in conjunction with Nisthone to help keep our paperwork moving along so we can get our girls home!

The pastor spoke (in Creole of course) and there was singing and music. Musicians from another congregation set up and did a bunch of music as well. We have done church with kids plenty of times and had a diaper bag packed with a few things to entertain the girls, water sippies, etc. Things got a lot louder than I am used to from our church services and we were surprised that both of the girls just fell asleep in our arms. When we were leaving we did see a few of the older kids from the orphanage attending church (nannies bring them) and we enjoyed our leisurely walk home.

On our walk back to the guesthouse we switched twins, meaning I carried El and Mark carried Il. You could tell that they weren't too sure about things, but that they also were insecure with being in a new place and just wanted to be held. We soaked in the chance to spend a bit of time holding the twin that each of us have spent less time with and enjoyed it. In the picture below I am holding El as she watches some of the local children run past...

I have a picture of Mark holding Il in front of this backdrop that I love. Il is wearing an orange top and skirt and it looks so beautiful with these orange blossoms. How beautiful is this country?

When we got back to the guesthouse the girls seemed quite pleased to be there and we pulled out some toys to play with and turned on some kids bop music. We'd noticed that the girls love to dance and thought they would enjoy music while playing. We got such a kick out of watching them dance and play. Each time a new song (with a new beat) would come on it was as if they involuntarily had to move their bodies until they were in sync with the new beat and then they'd go about their business of playing, intermittently shaking their hips and moving their arms to the music with way more rhythm than I will ever have. 

All of these memories from this day: Seeing them in the cute outfits I bought for them and imagined them in for so long, the fun photo-shoot, walking through Kenscoff to church, holding them during the service, dancing and playing toys later...the nostalgia from all of these things combine together to make one of the most memorable days we had during our 2 weeks there.

I remember late that day sitting on the couch with Mark watching the girls play together and feeling comfortable. Just grateful and at ease. And I realized how easily I could see them playing like that in our home, with our boys. And my heart was so overwhelmed with happiness.

Guest house

Tid-bits about the guesthouse have made it into other posts, but I figured I'd wrap up a few random details about it in this post.

When we arrived we were the only people staying there. During our stay there was another family who came as volunteers and stayed for a few days. They were a very nice family and it was fun to get to know them and be able to socialize with them. One evening we sat on the couches and played Jenga. We enjoyed our conversations with Lisa and , and they are in the process of adopting through the foster care system...and are interested in someday pursuing an adoption from Haiti. This picture is of them with their two kids (plus a girl and boy from the orphanage that wanted to be in the picture too)!

We were really grateful to be able to stay at the Guesthouse as the proximity to the orphanage was amazing. Most often families on their bonding trip (or visiting) stay at a hotel or guesthouse and have a driver take them to and from the orphanage each day. In addition to spending money on a driver, time in the car, less time with the kids, and having the unpredictability of when the driver will show up...we also wouldn't have the ability to just walk back and forth between the guesthouse and the orphanage on a whim. We loved being able to spend some time interacting at the orphanage and then leave for one-on-one time when we wanted to. We loved being able to watch and help with getting the girls ready in the morning, and to be able to feed them (and keep them on schedule with their main meal) at the orphanage. It was a really ideal situation that way. So! I wouldn't ever complain about staying at the guesthouse, but there are some things that were different...we're in Haiti after all! And it wasn't lost on us that while things weren't what we are used to it is still very comfortable compared to what many people in Haiti have access to for living conditions. 

We used a headlamp in our bathroom the first few days until a light was put in (which we were so excited about). It gets dark early there and I was always a bit squeamish about what creepy crawlies could be in the bathroom that I couldn't see. We were glad there was often hot water, but that was never a guarantee...one cold shower in particular that I took I remember taking my breath away. Also, anything with a filament (like the microwave, hair drier, etc) had to only be used when the generator was running. We didn't know until we'd been there several days that we could ask the guards to turn the generator on for us so that was really nice to help time showers since it takes me some time to dry my hair. Being in the mountains it was actually cold in Kenscoff at night, so I wouldn't have wanted to go to bed with wet hair. Here is a picture of the generators we were so grateful for!! Without it, we would have frequently been without electricity at all!

And I have no idea what the storage shed was next to it, but it sure was painted nicely!

We played a bit of musical beds while we were there too. The first bed (the full sized bed we shared) was really soft so we rolled together in the middle like a trampoline at night. That started hurting our backs so we moved to separate bottom bunk beds. I got a ton of bites that night so I was nervous to sleep on that bed again and moved back to the full-sized bed on my own. Eventually the two of us moved to another room (since we were the only family there at the time)...but that bed was really, really hard (is this sounding like a certain fairy tale??) so Mark switched to another bunk bed. I decided to just stick with the hard bed. It didn't hurt my back and I didn't get bug bites...I did get a bruise on my hip from being a side sleeper on such a hard bed and not moving while I slept because I had begun to resort to sleeping pills every night that knocked me out. Part of the reason for that were the crazy roosters that yelled all night long, and the dogs that barked all night.

I mentioned that we were lucky enough to have a cook for our breakfast and dinners. Lunches we were on our own and Sundays she didn't work. That worked out perfectly for us. She was a great cook and we enjoyed trying authentic Haitian food for the 2 weeks we were there. After eating we cleaned up and washed our dishes. Mark was a champ and took that on...here he is washing (and then bleaching the dishes afterward to kill things carried in the water used to wash the dishes):

We had someone who occasionally came and cleaned the guesthouse also. I think she had other responsibilities also though because sometimes we didn't see her. At one point the garbages hadn't been taken out for a long time (which we would have been happy to do, but there wasn't a dumpster or anywhere we knew to take it) and it started to REALLY stink. In Haiti you have to throw away your toilet paper when you use the toilet (the sewage lines can't take any tissue or anything), so if the garbage is emptied daily it's not a problem but we went several days a couple times and had to move our garbage to the bathroom upstairs because we were gagging. We then tied it off and put it by the back door the next day. I know they burn a lot of their garbage and that the orphanage did just start participating in a garbage pick up program (new concept there), but next time I will definitely ask what we can do with our garbage if it's not taken out.

There were also mice that we saw run across the floor several times, but we didn't see lots of spiders or anything. I'm guessing that may also have been because this is their colder season. We were provided with clean Culigan style drinking water that was collected for us from their filtration system...we filled up water bottles with it to drink, brush our teeth with, etc.

Their were couches and a table to relax at in the main living area, a table and chairs to eat at in the dining area, and items available to purchase that are handmade by local artisans employed by Chances for Children. Lots of beautiful art like paintings, jewelry, etc.

The grounds were lovely and we were always impressed at the sheer volume of clothing that was washed each day by the women who were in charge of cleaning for the orphanage. It hangs out on a line behind the guesthouse. Here I am one day holding Il walking around the side of the guesthouse...

In the photo above, we are walking up the stairs past windows that went to the rooms we stayed in. The first room we stayed in was the first room on the right when you walk in the front door of the guesthouse, and the rest of the time we stayed in the next on back.

I am sure there were so many things done behind the scenes to make our stay at the guesthouse more comfortable which we aren't even aware of, and we are so grateful for that amazing resource. We already have made so many fond memories in that pale yellow building that I will forever treasure. I can hardly wait to be back there to play with our little girls again...and to know that each time we get to do that, we are closer each time to being able to bring them home too. I miss them so much!

Bonding

Each day that we spent with the girls they opened up more and showed more of their little personalities to us. The first 3 days were the most profound, and each evening we would sit and talk about everything we saw with the girls and how fun it was to get to know them.

Our basic routine each day started by getting up and eating a breakfast made by our cook (yum!)...my favorite were her eggs with veggies fried up in it, fresh fruit (even the bananas that I don't normally care for were delicious), and the bacon. I don't know how she made that bacon, but it was ridiculously good.

After breakfast we headed over to the orphanage (around 9am) to see the girls. Usually the nannies were still getting babies ready...changing diapers, dressing them, putting on lotion, doing hair, and dumping baby powder down the front and back of them! On Tues-Thurs we would take the girls downstairs (along with the rest of the younger kids as the older kids were at school) and a Community Learning Partners group from the community did an hour or so of activities. Songs, rhymes, worked on colors, used a parachute, etc. What an amazing resource for these kiddos! And they love it.

(the picture above is Il)

(the picture below is El)

On days that the volunteers didn't come (as well as when they were done on the days they did come) we headed over to the guest house to play. For the first couple of days the girls weren't crazy about being put down much at the guesthouse. We mostly held them or sat on our bed with them and brought toys or activities over to the bed or to the couch in the main area. The girls even had their nap time on the bed together the first couple of days until El realized that she could fuss and dad would play with her (El doesn't go down for bed as easily across the board as Il does anyway). 

I may have mentioned that from day 1 the girls showed strong preference for a specific parent. El preferred Mark and Il preferred me. Il was particularly clear about expressing that preference and Mark hardly held her the first week we were there. El would come to me ok, but was very comfortable with Mark and was very territorial if Mark interacted with other kids at the orphanage - in fact she would kind of pout and ignore him for a short time after he interacted with other kids.

I mentioned that Il was easier to put down for naps, but since I was certainly the only one that could get her to got down for a nap (at the guest house anyway), that put Mark on duty entertaining El until she got tired. I felt badly sometimes, but at that point switching duties wasn't an option with the parent preferences that there were. So, instead of feeling bad I tried to soak in the one-on-one time that I had with Il. I got to lay and cuddle with her. One day I clearly remember being inches away from each other and she softly explored my hair and face with her soft fingers. It was such a tender moment and a memory I treasure. In fact, I was glad that my phone was in my pocket because I was able to capture a photo of that moment. Without looking I snapped a picture of the two of us with our gazes locked...and then I took this one after that of me kissing her so you can't see her face and I can share it here! I will treasure these moments for ever and ever...

Sometimes by the time Il was done with her nap, El was finally relenting to take hers. So, occasionally El would nap while we played right by her (orphanages aren't exactly quiet so it didn't bother her), and now and then Mark was able to lay down next to El too for some cuddle time...

Something that was beautiful to watch was how quickly the girls learned to adapt and open up to us.  What these girls have been through in their short 2 years of life has already taught them to be brave and resilient. They are strong little girls. It was such an meaningful experience to watch them begin to trust us, to show us their individual personalities, and to watch them feel comfortable around us and even eventually express affection to us.

It wasn't long before they began to understand our routine of picking them up at the orphanage, taking them to the guesthouse, bringing them back to the orphanage to feed them their main meal of the day, taking them back to the guesthouse, and then coming back to the orphanage for bedtime.

(Here Mark is feeding both of the twins. Sometimes we each had a plate to feed one of them, sometimes they shared a plate.)

It was only a few days of doing this before they were comfortable to be put down and run around the guesthouse where we were. They loved looking out the back window where women were washing laundry...

We enjoyed various activities in the main area of the guesthouse, like coloring (or jumping on the couches, which happened not terribly long after this photo was taken)...

They really loved playing with cars and trucks (didn't have a photo of that which didn't show faces), and the really loved taking things in and out of containers (contents of purses we brought, puff balls in and out of containers, etc), and sometimes they enjoyed books...

The girls are ridiculously sweet and did grow fond of letting us cuddle them...

(Il giving me some snuggles)

The girls are content to play things that are quiet, but they are also spunky and silly and crazy too. They are totally down with rough-housing and tickling and I think they will fit in just perfectly in our family!

(Mark tickling El)

They really loved playing with the baby dolls that we brought, especially feeding them their bottles. At first they were really confused when they tried to drink the little bottles themselves (they still get bottles to drink from at the orphanage). They were also baffled for a minute when they watched the liquid disappear that they babies drank and then reappear when putting the bottle upright. It was darling.

 (Il is in picture above, El is in picture below)

We had extra beds in our room at the guesthouse so we spread lots of our toys, activities and supplies across one of them and once the girls were comfortable walking around the place on their own they really LOVED to go over to that bed and pick out what to play with. Seriously though...how adorable are they???

So, I do believe it's important for them to have their own identities and I won't insist on them always having to wear matching outfits or anything...but they are twins and it really is fun sometimes too! One day I was able to put these matching striped outfits on them with a mirror image of a rainbow on it. So, when they stand side by side it completes the rainbow. It was too cute! Someday I would post an overload of pictures where you can see their adorable faces, but for now this one will have to do...

We did spend some down time over at the orphanage just letting the girls run around and play and so we could interact with other kids at the orphanage too. We just spent most of our time focusing on our bonding particularly and then necessitated more one-on-one time. It was a lot of fun to see them interact and play at the orphanage though, and we were caught off guard how much we fell in love with the other kids at the orphanage too. That may sound silly to say that, but we knew we would fall in love with our girls and were focused on that before going to Haiti...so when we grew so fond of the other kids there too it caught us a bit off guard. We pray that each one of those kids find their way into a loving family that will provide what each one of them needs to be healthy and happy.

This picture is one we snapped of the girls looking out of the orphanage door...

(El is on the left, Il is on the right)

Here is El chasing the chickens that roam the grounds of the orphanage. We were careful to not let her get too close to that mama chicken, but they really loved seeing and listening to the chickens...

This is just a random snapshot of the kids lined up to head in to eat. There are 26 kids total at the orphanage right now, so it's like the girls have 24 siblings. Sometimes they argue, but they also really look out for one another...right down to sharing suckers.

Seriously, I love these kids. I'm excited to get to see them the next time I go visit our girls too!!...although I'm realizing that a couple of them may already go home to their families before I get to go next. That is wonderful for them, sad for me to not get to see them. I'm grateful that with modern technology I've been able to connect with the other families matched to kids at our orphanage though, so we can keep tabs on one another over the years...

I have to mention how grateful that I am for our girls to be at such a great orphanage. No, it's not the same as a home and family...but since they are in an orphanage until we can bring them home I'm grateful that it's here. The staff do their very best to keep the orphanage clean and to take good care of the kids. The girls always have clean clothes, their hair and skin cared for, and food in their bellies. They have a nurse on-site that cares for the kids (and they love her), and access to a medical clinic right across the street. They have nannies that are affectionate to them, and administrative staff that do so much to coordinate the needs of these kids. I am so, so grateful. Even the armed security at the orphanage is wonderful. We watched on many occasions as the guards played with the kids and watched us attentively as we walked from the orphanage over to the guesthouse.

I wrote earlier in the post about our general routine each day. The only thing I didn't mention was that we were supposed to bring them back to the orphanage at 5pm each evening. We were so grateful that after we had to leave them that we only had to walk just down the street to our guesthouse for the night, and that we would get to see the girls first thing the next morning!

Once we were back at the guesthouse we ate dinner that our cook prepared for us (we always looked forward to it)! One night we even got to eat soup Joumou- which is Haiti's traditional soup which they eat on their Independence Day to remember their successful slave revolt over the French. It was such a treat to be able to eat traditional Haitian meals for those two weeks.

The rest of the evenings were spent loading photos to a shared album, communicating with my mom about diabetes if necessary, sometimes a FaceTime with the boys, a shower (sometimes hot), and often we streamed something on Mark's laptop to just unwind. It was strange how early we were utterly exhausted and even with the time change we found that we were in bed pretty early. I'll talk more about the guesthouse and some of the quirks of being in Haiti for 2 weeks in another post, but I am so grateful for the special memories we have of this time visiting our girls, their orphanage, and Haiti.