There are two main reasons for the mandatory 15 day socialization visit or bonding trip as it's called.
First of all, it's to meet your child/children and bond with them.
Secondly, it's so you can have your interview with a social worker with IBESR (employed by Haitian government) and they can ask questions and make observations to write a report with their recommendation on the match and moving forward with finalizing the adoption.
One thing that I know would have been mentioned in my blogging if I had written each day during our time in Haiti was my worry about the social worker making it up to Kenscoff for our visit. There was a lot of unrest during our time there, to put it mildly. Alison had even suggested before we came that I look into our airlines policy for waiving fees in situations of political unrest and in case we needed to reschedule our bonding trip for when things were more stable. We didn't do that, but we were cautious to have plenty of bottled water on hand arriving in Haiti in case we became stranded somewhere. That didn't happen luckily. The day before we arrived there were a lot of protests, and even plenty later in the day after we arrived...but we traveled from Port-au-Prince to Kenscoff without incidence. We could see places where roadblocks had been burning tires recently, but nothing at the time we needed to get through.
Let me give a bit of background (which will only touch on a very complex economic and political environment in Haiti)...after the huge 2010 earthquake which killed around 300,000 people the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere (Haiti) was simply decimated. In order to help, Haiti received temporary subsidies to cover the huge gas prices. Those were to be passed on to the people to make things affordable for them as they moved forward. Last July the government announced (sneakily during a huge World Cup soccer match that they whole county was watching) that the subsidies would end and gas prices would be skyrocketing. It is difficult to put into context in our lives what an an announcement like that means to people who are already struggling with severe poverty. It would means businesses would go under, people could not buy gas and get to work, it was devastating and angering to Haitians and they have never been people to roll over and not stand up to injustice. (This is the country with the first successful slave revolt we're talking about)
So, in July there were huge protests that turned very violent and unfortunately deadly. It was saddening and frightening for me to follow from my computer here at home.
Now, fast forward four months to November. People had been trying to understand where all the years of subsidy money went for the people's gasoline. It couldn't be properly accounted for. Apparently it was discovered that the paper trail ended right at the feet of a number of high government officials. The people (understandably) demanded that these government officials be investigated and they were met with silence. That led to protests that escalated to demands for the President to step down since he wouldn't investigate these government officials (who have been in office for prior presidencies as well as his own).
I don't claim to be an expert on all of this, but that is the information that I have gathered and as I understand it. I can understand the Haitian people's frustration and anger with their government, and I can even understand the protests. The violence that breaks out, sometimes quickly and unpredictably makes me a bit afraid though...but protests are most often registered ahead of time and the area can be avoided most of the time. The problem comes when a necessary road is blocked off and you can't (and shouldn't) go through. While we were there an airport shuttle attempted to go around an active roadblock and they opened fire on it hitting passengers inside. Someone from France and a Haitian-American were among those injured in that incident. There were also fatalities involved in protests that week.
So you can understand why I was grateful that we made it safely out of Port-au-Prince up into the mountains (and I'm so grateful the orphanage is in Kenscoff away from areas of protest)...and why I also would worry about if our social worker would be able to make it to our visit. There is a road that goes from PaP to Kenscoff that is a popular place to roadblock that makes it so you can't get up or down the mountain and I worried about how that would affect things.
For a good part of the time we were in Haiti a lot of the country was shut down...the government was closed off and on, schools closed, businesses closed because people couldn't get to work. I worried about Haitians who already struggle to make ends meet needing to get to work so they can provide for themselves and what that was meaning to them. I worried about us not having a social worker visit scheduled, and what would happen if it was at the end of our visit and then he couldn't get to us. What if we couldn't get out of the country?...
At one point Chareyl (our adoption facilitator back home) texted us letting us know that since the protests had gotten so aggressive that she reached out to the embassy and let them know our situation and location just in case. She also had us register for text updates from them to keep us updated on where protests were that were heating up or other unrest to be aware of. We got texts most days.
Slowly the embassy texts did slow down (I think protestors themselves couldn't keep it up) and we were grateful to hear that we had our social worker visit scheduled for Thursday, November 29th. The last business day available for us to do that would have been the following day, so it made me a little nervous but I was hopeful that if there was a problem Thursday that they'd make it work the next day.
We were with the girls at the orphanage (the community learning partners were there with the kids) and we were notified that IBESR was on their way to the orphanage. All of the sudden I felt nervous. I was glad, but all of the sudden the reality of the importance of this interview settled in.
Over the prior 6 years we have faced so many roadblocks in our adoption journey. I really won't even try to list them here, but there have been many and it has been difficult. The irony wasn't lost on me that while in Haiti I was fearing very literal roadblocks coming in the way of our adoption proceeding. I was so grateful that on November 29th that wasn't the case. Before we knew it our assigned case worker arrived with Nisthone and we headed back to an office inside the orphanage to have our interview. We picked up the girls and carried them into the room and sat down. They became very serious being in the room with two men that they did not know.
They started by asking if we had our passports, which we didn't. Luckily we were very close to the guesthouse so Mark ran over to get them quickly. I had a manila envelope with every other document I could think of that they might ask for, but they didn't need any of them...of course I didn't think to bring our passports. Oh well. Easy fix.
When Mark got back we jumped right in to things. Nisthone had been talking at first, but then the social worker (his name was also Mark) spoke and we realized he spoke great English! He said that he had 2 other interviews at other orphanages that day, so in order to save time that he would just speak English, but that Nishtone would be there to listen and make sure he was communicating properly or in case there was any difficulty with us communicating directly. He proceeded to ask us a series of questions and it was nice to be able to answer without a translator as sometimes a bit of humor which could be lost in translation was nice.
There were several questions, none of which were difficult to answer, but I remember two clearly. He asked early in the interview for each of us to introduce the other spouse and to tell what we like the least about their job. And toward the end of the interview he asked us if we felt like the twins were a good match for us. I was so overcome with emotion that I had to have Mark field that one. I am so sure that these little girls are meant to be part of our family and I love them so much already that there is no hesitation at all for me to answer that affirmatively.
Something else interesting that was said was that they felt that us having already adopted a child helped make us a good fit for the match of these girls. He asked some questions about our adoption of Noah (which I'm always happy to talk about) and we also were able to express our love for his first mother...and extend that to how we feel about the twins' mother.
Another part of the interview that still stands out to me is the advise he gave us to cocoon (he didn't use that word, but explained the concept) for a minimum of 4-6 weeks. We certainly plan on that and will adjust how long and how tightly we do that depending on what we observe with the girls.
Before we knew it the interview was done. We asked if the four of us could take a picture with Nisthone and Mark (the social worker), which we did. We stepped out and thanked Nisthone for all that he has done for our family. He was instrumental in us getting the referral to our girls. He also happens to be a member of the same church as we are, so since we knew that we share fundamental views on deity...we were able to express in a card we gave him how grateful we were that he was instrument in the Lords hand in helping the girls find their way into our eternal family.
After our interview was done we walked back over to the guesthouse. The girls were sleepy and Mark snapped this picture of Il cuddling me on the walk back over to the guesthouse. The yellow gate you see on the right is the entrance to the guesthouse...
I miss our girls so much, but am so grateful that with all the roadblocks we've hit along this journey that literal roadblocks didn't hinder us being able to check the box of meeting with IBESR's social worker that day. Now to just find out that his write up was favorable (I imagine it will be) and to finally get provisional I800 approval so we can get that visa appointment scheduled!!!
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