As humans we seem compelled to measure time. We use watches and calendars, we celebrate dates like anniversaries and birthdays...and we either honor or distract ourselves from landmark dates that can be painful - like the date we lost a loved one. October 3rd is a strange date for me to recognize and brings mixed emotions.
Six years ago today we took our first concrete step in our current adoption journey. We had planned our whole marriage on pursuing international adoption of a child/children (long before we knew that we would have fertility issues ourselves). The decision of when to start down this specific road, and with what country, was a long journey itself...so when we had narrowed things down to a country and a specific agency, starting that journey was something exciting to be celebrated. We had no idea how long the road ahead of us would be...or how painful and unexpected some of the changes would be. Still it is all being interwoven perfectly by Him. I believe we are waiting to adopt from the right country for our family at the right time with the right agency. I believe that the rollercoaster we've been on has been purposeful and that there are many things (some seen, some unrecognized) that were necessary for us to learn...and that we continue to learn.
So! While today marks 6 years since we started this journey...and we still don't know our daughter's face. I simply cannot let the day go by without recognizing it. Partly in joy at being able to be so far along in this journey, and honestly... increasingly in sadness at how many years have gone by and that we still don't know her yet. It is sometimes overwhelming when I think about the road we still have to travel once we are matched (it will likely take somewhere in the ballpark of 9 months to a year to process all of her paperwork after we take our 15 day socialization trip to meet her).
The best way I have explained how I feel right now is that it's how I felt several years into our journey with infertility. We had been through so many medications, injections, surgeries and procedures...and we so desperately wanted to be pregnant. We knew that the 9 month journey once pregnant could be difficult, possibly painful or unpredictable - but we were ready to face that new challenge, and to have the hope that our child was on their way to us.
That is how I feel now. I feel like we have waited so long and been through so many painful and unexpected turns in this process...I know that the wait after we meet her will be a long, difficult, possibly painful and unpredictable - but we are ready to face that new challenge. I long to know that she is concretely on her journey to joining our family. I long to know her face. I long to hold her. I long to know her little personality and quirks. And I pray that next year when I am posting my 7 year post that it is full of information about bringing her home.
Here is a rundown of our journey by dates:
October 2012 turned in our first application to adopt from Ethiopia with AGCI
November 2014 required to terminate our adoption with AGCI (as they closed their program)
December 2014 we signed with Wasatch to adopt from Haiti
April 2015 new dossier complete
August 2015 officially entered IBESR in Haiti to wait to be matched to a child
***HOPING that I will be able to say October 2018 matched to our child!!!
And because I enjoy a trip down memory lane, here are the last three years' posts marking today:
5 years waiting
4 years waiting
3 years waiting
No comments:
Post a Comment