One Miracle At A Time...: 7 years ago today

Thursday, October 3, 2019

7 years ago today

Today is a perfect day to pay our final adoption payment for our girls!
7 years ago today we began this adoption journey! We knew starting things that it would be a rollercoaster (adoptions each are in their own way), but we had no idea what was ahead of us. We certainly had no idea that our boys would go from 6 years, 4 years and barely 1 year old...to 13 years, 11 years, and 8 years old!! These boys grew up hearing about their little sister as if she were a fairy tale - the "baby girl that would someday come, when the time is right".

Over the last 7 years of waiting to complete our family we changed from looking like this:

...to looking like this:

***That is the most recent snapshot I have of our whole family...I'm waiting to get this year's family portraits done until we can do one of all SEVEN of us. Yep. Seven is officially my new lucky number.***
We waited 7 years to become a family of 7!

When starting this journey we had no idea that 2 years into our process that we would be changing from adopting from Ethiopia to Haiti, no idea that it this process would be another 5 years after that - or of all of the other unpredictable struggles there would be along the way, BUT...

We also had no idea that we would be double-blessed with twin little girls, we had no idea how grateful we would be for the crèche our girls live in and caregivers they have, we had no idea the depth of love we would develop for the other children that live at the crèche with our girls, we had no idea of how much our love for our children's country of birth would increase, we had no idea how much our perspectives on things in life would change, and we had no idea the things that would happen in our family (like Max's diagnosis) during this wait that would make the spacing of our kids just perfect like this.

We just had no idea...
...but I believe that God knew all of it fully. HE knew all of how things would unfold for us & HE knew the heartbreaking way things would unfold for our sweet girls. HE knew how to take a situation of tragedy, heartache and loss and turn it into something full of beauty. Truly beauty for ashes. Our girls will never be "lucky" to have been through what they have in their first few years of life that led us together, but we are all blessed to have a Father in Heaven that knows how to orchestrate beauty from even the greatest heartbreak and loss we can imagine. My heart will forever be broken that in order for our sweet girls to come to our family that they had to endure and lose so much, but I will also forever be grateful for the blessing of being able to have the privilege of being called "Mama" by these two beautiful girls.

This very end of our adoption journey has proven to be more heart-wrenching and more faith-stretching than I could have imagined. To have our girls bear our name, but be separated from us and living in a place so riddled with turmoil is often difficult for my heart to navigate. In my human-ness it is difficult to be patient while having no idea how long the current political/economic situation will delay our girls from coming home.

Having no idea has always been the hardest part of this process. It has also been the part of the process that has grown my faith the most. It is the part that has allowed me to lean more heavily on my savior. It is the part that reminds me that HE knows. That forces me to trust Him. To remember that as much as I love these girls, He loves them even more. And so I write these things down, so that on the especially hard days I can go back and read the things my heart does know. So I can lean on those while I wait for my heart and our family to be whole. While I wait for our real journey to begin.

*Just for fun, I do always like taking a look down memory lane at posts from prior years on this date:
6 years into this journey (8 days later we were matched to our girls!)
5 years into this journey (this period of time was one of the heaviest for my heart in this journey)
4 years into this journey (our girls were 11 days old & Hurricane Matthew was bearing down)
3 years into this journey (the last line in this post makes me giggle now)
This & this were written around 2 years into this journey (as doors closed on our Ethiopian adoption)

1 comment:

JanaOctober 5, 2019 at 7:17 AM
I love your words, Holly, and love reading back on this long journey. Your prayerful perseverance has blessed our lives and brought us five beautiful, treasured grandchildren. It’s so very close now. Soon Evelyn and Eleanor will physically join and complete your sweet family. In our hearts they’re already here. Love you all so much. ❣️❣️
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Our Adoption Timeline

International adoption has had a place in my heart since I was very young. In the fall of 2000 Mark and I had a sincere heart to heart about that (before getting engaged) and agreed that was something we were committed to wanting to do together when the time was right. At the time we were leaning toward an adoption from Asia (likely China).

3/2006 After an unexpected several year struggle with infertility we adopted our first son (domestically).

8/2006 We began paperwork to adopt from Haiti (through West Sands Adoptions) until we were presented with an offer for a paid IVF cycle, which worked and we became pregnant with our 2nd son. Later we used our remaining frozen embryos for a final IVF cycle, which resulted in our 3rd son.

12/2010 Haiti was dealing with the aftermath of its big earthquake earlier that year & starting an adoption at that time would be difficult. We started looking more seriously into different adoption programs in Africa.

2/2011 Honed in on adoption from Ethiopia and began researching agencies.

2/11/11 Requested information from AGCI (All God's Children International).

2/24/11 Webinar we scheduled with AGCI was cancelled and I decided (other than adoption blog browsing and web research), that we would shelf things and focus on our little guys until we felt it was time to pursue this.

3/11 Big changes happened within the Ethiopian government regarding adoption, and I became nervous about the slowdown with processing of Ethiopian adoptions and what that would mean down the road for us.

9/12 Felt strong tugging at my heartstrings again. Started researching adoption programs again and always came back to Ethiopia and AGCI.

10/3/12 Submitted preliminary application for Ethiopia program to AGCI!

10/5/12 AGCI requested further info to process prior to submitting our official application and fee (which we provided).

10/8/12 We were given the green light to submit our official application!

10/12/12 Send a huge list of detailed questions (in addition to those our kind coordinator had already answered) about the agency - we needed these questions answered before proceeding.

10/19/12 Received email back with detailed answers to questions, but also a request to contact them before submitting an official application (which made me nervous).

11/21/12 After reading responses from AGCI and lots more research on my part I called AGCI back and left message.

12/14/12 Finally heard back from AGCI (after 2 voicemails and emails) and they apologized that they had been backed up due to an unexpected increase in contacts after some positive media exposure (a bit on Extreme Home Makeover)...BUT they told me that although their agency was fine with approving us that they didn't think that USCIS (immigration) would clear us due to our excessive student loan debt. If that was the case we were not only not candidates for this agency or program, but for international adoption at all. I was devastated...for a few hours, and then I got on message boards and phone calls. I searched the USCIS website and called them and they said that it is based on debt/income ratio and is case by case (no $50,000 limit as had been explained to me). I also made contact with other physician families online that had $200,000+ student loan debt like us who had recently adopted. I called AGCI back with this information.

12/28/12 Got call from AGCI that their director personally took a look at our profile and approved us to move forward. She looked into where that USCIS limit info came from and it was from a case one year ago where a family was denied at immigration for excessive student loan debt (100K, but they didn't have enough income to compensate for it) and at that time the general guideline of 50K was sited at that time, and taken as a set limit by that case worker. I hope that by this information being brought to the director's attention that other families wanting to adopt won't be turned away at the screening process like we were!

12/31/12 We turned in our official application and $300 fee to AGCI!

1/7/13 Dr. letter from my cardiologist requested from AGCI, as well as personal statement from me on my heart condition.

1/16/13 Took paperwork to cardiologist and also submitted my personal statement.

1/25/13 Cardiologist faxed in his letter giving me his green light. Now we just wait for approval from the social services department and our official acceptance into the program!

2/1/13 We were notified that we needed documentation of compliance with post-placement requirements from Noah's adoption before approval. This information was provided.

2/5/13 We are officially approved with AGCI!!

2/12/13 We completed our first mandatory conference call with AGCI.

5/16/13 Paperwork notarized!

5/20/13 Had one paper re-notarized (was done wrong) and we selected a new home study agency (WIAA) since our old one is closing.

5/22/13 Finished paperwork, mailed 'orientation packet' to AGCI, and paid them fee of $4,390!

5/28/13 Received update from our agency that our likely wait time has now increased by an additional 18 months (so, now 42 months from dossier to referral) - totaling an estimated wait time of 5 years now for the whole process :(

5/31/13 Had first phone call with our assigned caseworker, Brandi, (versus our inquiry coordinator)...and then we were re-assigned to caseworker named Toni 3 days later when it was announced that Brandi departed the agency.

6/25/13 Notarized finished paperwork for local agency (WIAA) to complete our home study.

6/26/13 Mailed application and $1,950 fee (for home study and 3 post placement visits) to WIA.

7/11/13 Homestudy visit in our home with Josh, our case worker with WIA (also my individual interview).

7/16/13 Fingerprinting done. Couple interview at case worker's office, as well as interview with the kids.

7/25/13 Mark's individual interview completed at WIA.

9/9/13 Finished last of 7 required online education classes.

10/31/13 Homestudy officially finished! Received our notarized copies in the mail!

11/4/13 Submitted USCIS application (with $890 in fees)

11/5/13 Dossier submitted!!! (with $8,600 for dossier fees and second half of agency fee)

11/19/13 Submitted new paperwork to USCIS (they sent everything back and needed an updated form) & turned in one revision required for dossier.

11/20/13 Finally got the call that as of today we are on the wait list!!!!! Today is our official dossier completion date that we will track on the wait list!

12/9/13 Received letters from Homeland Security with our assigned immigration fingerprinting appointment times (different than the FBI fingerprinting we already did) necessary to receive approval for our I600A.

12/17/13 Completed immigration biometrics (fingerprinting) appointment for child's immigration pre-approval.

12/26/13 Ethiopia's government announced its intentions to cease all foreign adoptions from their country.

1/3/14 Received FDL (favorable determination letter) from immigration.

1/29/14 Update was received the the government does not have intention of closing their adoption program. Yay!

2/11/14 Received frustrating update from AGCI that our estimated wait time has increased to 5-6 years from log in date to referral (so 6-7 years total wait including our initial paper chase). Our LID was 11/20/13. We are remaining faithful in the Lord and His timing.

11/12/14 Received information hinting that our agency will be closing the doors on our Ethiopian adoption.

11/14 AGCI closes it's traditional Ethiopia program, leaving only open applicants for older, severe special needs children. We are heartbroken and unsure where our adoption journey will lead us...

12/12/14 After lots of intense research and prayer we turned in our initial application to adopt from Haiti with Wasatch International Adoptions

1/12/15 Homestudy visit ($500 update fee) by our case worker Josh

1/24/15 Official application (with $500 application fee) filled out for WIAA

1/28/15 Our notarized contract received by WIAA (with $2,500 program fee)

2/2/15 Submitted update for another FBI background check

2/24/15 Mark had all labs drawn for medical clearance (cost ended up being $322)

3/10/15 Mailed $400 check (for French translation of dossier) to WIAA ahead of dossier so they would have it already once we scan them our dossier papers.

3/12/15 Homestudy is complete!!!

3/24/15 I-800a application submitted (with $890 check) to USCIS!

3/25/15 Dossier documents hand delivered to Utah State Capitol for authentication (with $270 fee)

4/3/15 Dossier state authenticated documents received in the mail today!

4/6/15 Entire dossier hand delivered and turned in to our agency today!!!!!

4/7/15 Verified dossier and translation (into French) sent to Haitian consulate in Chicago today for further authentication! ($950 paid: $450 for authentication and $500 to pre-pay for courier costs to Haiti)

5/18/15 Received approval notice from USCIS!!!...but now we found an error in it.

5/26/15 Received the updated USCIS approval today!

5/29/15 Complete dossier mailed off to WIAA for review!

7/31/15 AGCI (prior agency with Ethiopian adoption) officially completely closes the remainder of their program for older child special needs adoptions.

8/4/15 Mailed $3,000 to WIAA to cover legalization fees, IBESR submission fee and Haitian attorney retainer fee prior to them sending our dossier to Haiti!

8/18/15 Dossier arrived in Haiti! Being reviewed by paralegal that was hired in Haiti.

8/20/15 Dossier submitted for legalization process in Haiti!

8/28/15 Dossier entered IBESR!!!

1/13/16 Submitted document for BCI (state background check) renewal.

4/5/16 Submitted $350 fee to WIAA to begin home study renewal.

5/6/16 All documents for home study update delivered to agency.

5/19/16 Interview with Craig (our new case worker) for home study update.

6/2/16 Updated & notarized home study submitted with I-800a update (supplement 3) mailed via UPS to USCIS. Received 6/7.

8/8/16 Received I800a update approval today! Approval and fingerprints valid now until 11/2/17.

12/14/16 Turned in paperwork to update annual background checks (again). Also paid agency $100 to update our home study with new age parameters (0-24 months at time of referral).

12/28/16 BCI came back, home study updated (with new parameters) and supplement 3 to I-800a was mailed to USCIS with $360 processing fee.

1/10/17 USCIS denied our update I-800 update application because they updated their fees 5 days earlier. They are returning everything and we have to resubmit.

1/11/17 Filled out new I-800a update forms and sent with documents and new check ($385 this time) - overnighted to USCIS.

2/4/17 Received updated I-800a approval letter...but it has an error that has to be fixed.

2/10/17 Was able to receive encrypted email from USCIS with corrected updated I-800a approval letter. Gave it to Chareyl to take to Haiti to update our file!

8/30/17 Turned in home study update application (and $350) and BCI renewal application. Found out the BCIs are back-logged several weeks out which will hold up our I800a renewal.

10/5/17 Turned in I800a renewal application. Homestudy used current background checks (while we wait for new ones) since our current checks are good until December. Homestudy expires 10/30/18.

11/20/17 Received our re-approval letter for our I800a (dated 11/14). It & the associated fingerprints both will expire 2/8/19.

7/31/18 Paid $100 to update homestudy with new age parameters (up to 3 years old). Overnighted homestudy, supplement 3 form, and $385 fee to update age parameters with USCIS.

8/14/18 USCIS approved age parameter change on our I800a (received on 8/20). Update sent to Haiti.

10/4/18 Turned BCI update in to agency (background check).

10/8/18 Found out IBESR approved a match for us!

10/11/18 Received payment request from IBESR for TWINS!!

10/31/18 Received our official referral for twin 2 year old girls!

11/2/18 Received English translation of referral documents.

11/3/18 Sent in notarized acceptance letter for referral.

11/5/18 Paid $10,000 foreign fee to agency.

11/13/18 Received IBESR approval for travel dates & mailed $2,360 to c4c to pay guesthouse and transportation costs.

11/16/18 Delivered I800, I864 & G1145 to agency along with $2,000 foreign fee still owed.

11/18/18-12/3/18 Socialization visit (bonding trip) to meet our girls!!!

12/4/18 Our I800 packets were returned due to using an old form

12/6/18 Turned in both new I800 packets with applications on new forms.

12/13/18 We completed mandatory match interview by director of social workers at our agency today.

1/7/19 Received RFE (request for evidence) from USCIS on I800 application. There is a document on the Haitian side that needs to be added or amended.

1/8/19 Necessary document in Haiti acquired, sent to agency, translated to English, agency notarized cover letter and overnighted it all to USCIS for approval.

2/19/19 We received notification of our provisional approval for the girls' I800 application!

3/10/19 Upon our adoption facilitators request, we sent an email to the US Embassy in Haiti to follow up on why we still have no preliminary visa appointment for our girls.

3/13/19 After communication with various government departments we found out that the National Visa Center had suspended all adoption cases based on a miscommunication! That has been fixed and our girls' files have been released and sent on to Haiti!

3/13/19 We received the girls' preliminary visa (article 5) appointment for this Monday, 3/18!

3/18/19 Article 5 letters issued!!

5/8/19 IBESR exit!!!

5/15/19 $4,600 paid for next international fee

7/5/19 Signature we were waiting for on paperwork happened today

8/4/19 30-day wait after signature is complete today. Adoption decree should be signed soon!

8/28/19 Paperwork error found, adoption decree delayed

9/9/19 Notified of finalized adoption decree!!! (It was signed on 9/6/19)

10/3/19 Final adoption fees paid! $12,038 to cover last agency fee, post placement fees, final foreign fees, visa & passport fees.

1/7/20 Exited MOI!

2/19 Passport applications completed

3/18 Article 23 documents issued!

3/19 Received copy of Abigaille's passport (still waiting for Abigaelle's passport)

3/24 Found out Abigaelle's passport had been cancelled because the passport office thinks there is really only one child. They want both girls brought in physically to verify.

3/24 Girls' medical exams completed!

3/28 Found out Abigaelle's passport has been issued & U.S. Embassy agreed to issue visa on Monday if we have all supporting documents.

3/29 POA attorney issued to woman named Esther to escort the girls from PaP to Miami

3/30 Abigaelle's passport picked up, medical reports picked up, visa issued, exit documents issued...and girls ESCORTED TO MIAMI AND IN MY ARMS!!!

3/31 Noah & I flew back to Utah to bring the girls home!!!

One Miracle At A Time...

Thursday, October 3, 2019

7 years ago today

1 comment:

We're "paper pregnant"

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