Estimated wait time increase (again)

I've got a pounding stress headache and haven't had time to process everything today (since life still goes on spinning and there's ton to do with 3 wonderful little boys to care for)...but I attended a webinar with our adoption agency today.  Among other things discussed today was their recalculated assessment of the current estimated wait time (from dossier submission to referral - so tack on the paper chase as well as time from referral to clearance to come home also).

Mind you, when we signed on with the agency the estimate was 24 months.  Later it became 3 to 3 1/2 years.  Today a real bomb dropped.  They gave an estimate of 4-6 years.  For families like us who are waiting for a 0-12 month old child it will likely be more near the 6 year mark.  I cannot even process that information properly right now.  I vacillate between sarcastic non-shock, anger, and wanting to cry (sometimes between all 3 feelings in less than a minute).  Because I don't even know how I feel I haven't talked to anyone about it yet, but I thought I'd barf out the basic information onto the blog right now anyway.

The AGCI Ethiopia facebook page has been all a-buzz today.  Lots of people freaking out.  The agency is also allowing families to transfer their $6,000 agency fee to another program within AGCI (which is not normally an option) between now and the end of March, so some people are feeling frenzied about what to do between the extended estimated wait time, the unstable adoption climate in Ethiopia, and now the lure of not losing 6K if transferring to another program now (versus say if Ethiopia were to close to adoption down the road).

I feel so drained, confused, emotional...and unsure how I can deal with this roller coaster for nearly 6 more years.

Can I?

I keep asking myself that...and honestly, even though I don't want it to take that long if I knew that it would happen in the end I'd buckle down and say yes, but there's that looming "what if" around adoptions closing down the road in Ethiopia...or the wait taking even longer.

Oh if it just weren't for the greed and corruption that people have indulged themselves in, then children who need homes would be finding their way into families that ache for them so much more quickly.