Bonding

Each day that we spent with the girls they opened up more and showed more of their little personalities to us. The first 3 days were the most profound, and each evening we would sit and talk about everything we saw with the girls and how fun it was to get to know them.

Our basic routine each day started by getting up and eating a breakfast made by our cook (yum!)...my favorite were her eggs with veggies fried up in it, fresh fruit (even the bananas that I don't normally care for were delicious), and the bacon. I don't know how she made that bacon, but it was ridiculously good.

After breakfast we headed over to the orphanage (around 9am) to see the girls. Usually the nannies were still getting babies ready...changing diapers, dressing them, putting on lotion, doing hair, and dumping baby powder down the front and back of them! On Tues-Thurs we would take the girls downstairs (along with the rest of the younger kids as the older kids were at school) and a Community Learning Partners group from the community did an hour or so of activities. Songs, rhymes, worked on colors, used a parachute, etc. What an amazing resource for these kiddos! And they love it.

(the picture above is Il)

(the picture below is El)

On days that the volunteers didn't come (as well as when they were done on the days they did come) we headed over to the guest house to play. For the first couple of days the girls weren't crazy about being put down much at the guesthouse. We mostly held them or sat on our bed with them and brought toys or activities over to the bed or to the couch in the main area. The girls even had their nap time on the bed together the first couple of days until El realized that she could fuss and dad would play with her (El doesn't go down for bed as easily across the board as Il does anyway). 

I may have mentioned that from day 1 the girls showed strong preference for a specific parent. El preferred Mark and Il preferred me. Il was particularly clear about expressing that preference and Mark hardly held her the first week we were there. El would come to me ok, but was very comfortable with Mark and was very territorial if Mark interacted with other kids at the orphanage - in fact she would kind of pout and ignore him for a short time after he interacted with other kids.

I mentioned that Il was easier to put down for naps, but since I was certainly the only one that could get her to got down for a nap (at the guest house anyway), that put Mark on duty entertaining El until she got tired. I felt badly sometimes, but at that point switching duties wasn't an option with the parent preferences that there were. So, instead of feeling bad I tried to soak in the one-on-one time that I had with Il. I got to lay and cuddle with her. One day I clearly remember being inches away from each other and she softly explored my hair and face with her soft fingers. It was such a tender moment and a memory I treasure. In fact, I was glad that my phone was in my pocket because I was able to capture a photo of that moment. Without looking I snapped a picture of the two of us with our gazes locked...and then I took this one after that of me kissing her so you can't see her face and I can share it here! I will treasure these moments for ever and ever...

Sometimes by the time Il was done with her nap, El was finally relenting to take hers. So, occasionally El would nap while we played right by her (orphanages aren't exactly quiet so it didn't bother her), and now and then Mark was able to lay down next to El too for some cuddle time...

Something that was beautiful to watch was how quickly the girls learned to adapt and open up to us.  What these girls have been through in their short 2 years of life has already taught them to be brave and resilient. They are strong little girls. It was such an meaningful experience to watch them begin to trust us, to show us their individual personalities, and to watch them feel comfortable around us and even eventually express affection to us.

It wasn't long before they began to understand our routine of picking them up at the orphanage, taking them to the guesthouse, bringing them back to the orphanage to feed them their main meal of the day, taking them back to the guesthouse, and then coming back to the orphanage for bedtime.

(Here Mark is feeding both of the twins. Sometimes we each had a plate to feed one of them, sometimes they shared a plate.)

It was only a few days of doing this before they were comfortable to be put down and run around the guesthouse where we were. They loved looking out the back window where women were washing laundry...

We enjoyed various activities in the main area of the guesthouse, like coloring (or jumping on the couches, which happened not terribly long after this photo was taken)...

They really loved playing with cars and trucks (didn't have a photo of that which didn't show faces), and the really loved taking things in and out of containers (contents of purses we brought, puff balls in and out of containers, etc), and sometimes they enjoyed books...

The girls are ridiculously sweet and did grow fond of letting us cuddle them...

(Il giving me some snuggles)

The girls are content to play things that are quiet, but they are also spunky and silly and crazy too. They are totally down with rough-housing and tickling and I think they will fit in just perfectly in our family!

(Mark tickling El)

They really loved playing with the baby dolls that we brought, especially feeding them their bottles. At first they were really confused when they tried to drink the little bottles themselves (they still get bottles to drink from at the orphanage). They were also baffled for a minute when they watched the liquid disappear that they babies drank and then reappear when putting the bottle upright. It was darling.

 (Il is in picture above, El is in picture below)

We had extra beds in our room at the guesthouse so we spread lots of our toys, activities and supplies across one of them and once the girls were comfortable walking around the place on their own they really LOVED to go over to that bed and pick out what to play with. Seriously though...how adorable are they???

So, I do believe it's important for them to have their own identities and I won't insist on them always having to wear matching outfits or anything...but they are twins and it really is fun sometimes too! One day I was able to put these matching striped outfits on them with a mirror image of a rainbow on it. So, when they stand side by side it completes the rainbow. It was too cute! Someday I would post an overload of pictures where you can see their adorable faces, but for now this one will have to do...

We did spend some down time over at the orphanage just letting the girls run around and play and so we could interact with other kids at the orphanage too. We just spent most of our time focusing on our bonding particularly and then necessitated more one-on-one time. It was a lot of fun to see them interact and play at the orphanage though, and we were caught off guard how much we fell in love with the other kids at the orphanage too. That may sound silly to say that, but we knew we would fall in love with our girls and were focused on that before going to Haiti...so when we grew so fond of the other kids there too it caught us a bit off guard. We pray that each one of those kids find their way into a loving family that will provide what each one of them needs to be healthy and happy.

This picture is one we snapped of the girls looking out of the orphanage door...

(El is on the left, Il is on the right)

Here is El chasing the chickens that roam the grounds of the orphanage. We were careful to not let her get too close to that mama chicken, but they really loved seeing and listening to the chickens...

This is just a random snapshot of the kids lined up to head in to eat. There are 26 kids total at the orphanage right now, so it's like the girls have 24 siblings. Sometimes they argue, but they also really look out for one another...right down to sharing suckers.

Seriously, I love these kids. I'm excited to get to see them the next time I go visit our girls too!!...although I'm realizing that a couple of them may already go home to their families before I get to go next. That is wonderful for them, sad for me to not get to see them. I'm grateful that with modern technology I've been able to connect with the other families matched to kids at our orphanage though, so we can keep tabs on one another over the years...

I have to mention how grateful that I am for our girls to be at such a great orphanage. No, it's not the same as a home and family...but since they are in an orphanage until we can bring them home I'm grateful that it's here. The staff do their very best to keep the orphanage clean and to take good care of the kids. The girls always have clean clothes, their hair and skin cared for, and food in their bellies. They have a nurse on-site that cares for the kids (and they love her), and access to a medical clinic right across the street. They have nannies that are affectionate to them, and administrative staff that do so much to coordinate the needs of these kids. I am so, so grateful. Even the armed security at the orphanage is wonderful. We watched on many occasions as the guards played with the kids and watched us attentively as we walked from the orphanage over to the guesthouse.

I wrote earlier in the post about our general routine each day. The only thing I didn't mention was that we were supposed to bring them back to the orphanage at 5pm each evening. We were so grateful that after we had to leave them that we only had to walk just down the street to our guesthouse for the night, and that we would get to see the girls first thing the next morning!

Once we were back at the guesthouse we ate dinner that our cook prepared for us (we always looked forward to it)! One night we even got to eat soup Joumou- which is Haiti's traditional soup which they eat on their Independence Day to remember their successful slave revolt over the French. It was such a treat to be able to eat traditional Haitian meals for those two weeks.

The rest of the evenings were spent loading photos to a shared album, communicating with my mom about diabetes if necessary, sometimes a FaceTime with the boys, a shower (sometimes hot), and often we streamed something on Mark's laptop to just unwind. It was strange how early we were utterly exhausted and even with the time change we found that we were in bed pretty early. I'll talk more about the guesthouse and some of the quirks of being in Haiti for 2 weeks in another post, but I am so grateful for the special memories we have of this time visiting our girls, their orphanage, and Haiti.

Day 1. Coming out of their shell.

I mentioned in my last post that the girls were very reserved at first when we met. Flat affect. Not responsive.  For example, they had runny noses and when we wiped them that first day they didn't move away or respond at all. Seriously, we'd wipe it 4 or 5 times and no response. Have you ever wiped a 2 year old's nose?? In my experience they usually turn away...at least if you try it multiple times!

Anyway, let me tell you about what it was like when we left the orphanage with them for the first time. We walked outside the green metal gate of the orphanage and the girls all of the sudden became very "cuddly". What I mean by that is that they held on and moved in much closer. Il actually had a bit of a death grip on my neck and whimpered just a bit. Her respiratory rate increased and she put her head against me. They were nervous to leave those walls...and probably especially with these people that they just barely met.

Il seemed to be much more afraid...or she at least expresses it more outwardly. El looked around a bit more and didn't grip Mark quite as much. El seems to be less quick to react to things...she was less quick to warm up to the idea of Mark picking her up and holding her, but also less quick to react with fear. Il more quickly and outwardly expressed her emotions, both of fear and happiness...

We walked down the dirt road, knocked on the gate to the guest house and after being let in walked carefully down the uneven stairs to the door of the guesthouse. Some of the steps were deeper, and some were deeper or more shallow. We were cautious carrying our precious little girls down the uneven steps for the first few times...and we commented on how quickly our brains adapt with muscle memory as it wasn't long before we could quickly descend those stairs without having to think about it, adjust stride or give it much thought.

When we got inside the guest house we set our quiet little girls down to walk and they immediately whimpered and reached to be picked back up. They did not feel comfortable being put down in this place that probably felt strangely quiet away from all the other children they spend their days with. This was also their nap time we realized later, so they were surely also tired as well.

We got out a few toys that were a bit to overwhelming at first...like the type you push button and it makes a sound and an animal pops up. That was a definite no (thought they loved it days later). We decided that painting nails seemed like a good, quiet, cuddly thing to do! We pulled that out and let the girls pick their colors. El chose hot pink and Il chose an aqua blue/green color. They sat completely still and seemed very happy about their painted nails. Il especially kept holding her hands out and admiring her nails. I particularly loved watching Mark sweetly interact with the girls and paint fingernails. It was adorable and tender.

The girls both seemed to relax doing that activity. They were also tired. So they cuddled and eventually they each fell asleep with us holding them.

Their little bodies became heavy and limp in our arms and we could cuddle and kiss them without reserve as they slept. It was the first time I think that Mark and I both allowed ourselves to be a bit overcome with emotion regarding what was happening. These are our girls. We're cuddling them. They are sleeping safely in our arms. We got to touch their soft skin and their lovely tight curls. Our journey getting to know them had just begun and they already had us wrapped around their beautiful brown little fingers.

We chose to take them back over to the orphanage each day at 2:00 for their main meal of the day (they have 2 meals a day). It was a lot of fun to see their little personalities perk up when we took them back to the orphanage, especially when they got to their room. They were so excited and ran around taking inventory of all of their comrades from their room. We got to feed them. Rice and beans on a metal plate. We found out that they are great eaters, and if even one grain of rice would drop they would stop and find it before continuing to eat. They ran around the "babies' room" after eating and I was taking a little video of the commotion when El walked over and took Mark's hand and tugged on it to get him to come over and see something she wanted to show him. It was so, so adorable.

After a bit of of playtime at the orphanage (and it is a lot of fun to see the girls fun personalities come out when they are on their turf with their little buddies) we decided to take the girls back over to the guest house for a bit more one-on-one interaction with us.

We pulled out several activities and toys that we played with the girls. They especially liked the little sequin purses we brought with small items like these little Tiana figures inside. Since the girls only got a short nap earlier while we were holding them, and I think they were likely a bit overstimulated with all the newness (new location, new people, new toys/activities) they fell asleep for a bit more...

It was a wonderful first day getting to know these beautiful girls who we have the honor of calling our daughters! It was so nice to know that when we had to walk back up to the orphanage to drop them off for bedtime that we still had 13 more days to get to know them. They were slowly coming out of their shell bit by bit.

That night we also enjoyed our first Haitian meal at the guesthouse. This is the deliciousness that our cook had ready for us when we came back to the guest house! After dinner we washed up the dishes and gave them a rinse in a bleach bath (to kill anything in the water). We sat down and looked over pictures and just reveled in the fact that we were here. This part of the journey was finally happening. And not only are we getting to know our girls...but they are getting to know us too, and that's an important step to them feeling like part of our family. Our family of seven.

The moment we dreamt of didn't go as pictured...and it was perfect.

The guard opened the bright green metal gate and let us in. We asked Alison to take a video of us meeting the girls for the first time since we both wanted to be in the moment and...well...there are also two kiddos!

Both of our hearts started beating fast in anticipation of this moment that we had dreamt of, prayed and fasted for and yearned for the last 6 years (and frankly, as far as I'm concerned...for as long as I can remember).

We didn't know what to expect. I had seen lots of videos of other families meeting their children for the first time (with international adoption). Most of the videos seemed to show families waiting and a nanny entering a room or courtyard carrying their child and placing them in the mother's arms. I guess I figured it would happen something like that. It didn't, but it was perfect.

We walked into the orphanage and turned left to go up a flight of stairs. Alison directed us that the girls room was the first one on the left and that we could just go in! We were actually there and our girls were inside that room?!

We walked in and the "babies" were all in their beds (bunkbed style white painted beds). We didn't realize that we were arriving during nap time, but the girls were awake sitting up in their beds. It was easy to know who our girls were, but we didn't know which one was which. They were each on a bottom bunk in beds right next to one another. I didn't wait at all before approaching one of them and crouching down to talk to her. For the purpose of this blog (until we have our adoption decree) I will refer to the girls as El and Il. I was informed that I was with Il. I talked with her, gently touched her arm and asked her (accompanied with hand gestures) if she wanted to be picked up. She stared at me blankly, so I didn't proceed. Instead I continued to talk to her and play peek-a-boo. After just a couple of minutes she reached her arms out for me to pick her up, and you bet that I didn't hesitate. I picked her up out of her bed and my heart absolutely melted. I was holding one of my daughters. Finally.

Mark had crouched down next to me and was talking with El who was a little slower to warm up to Mark picking her up. The kids at the orphanage don't spend much time around men so it isn't surprising that they were a bit more hesitant with Mark. We were told that it was ok to just pick them up, but taking it slow felt like the right thing to do. We hadn't discussed that, but we are total strangers to these girls. We already love them, but they don't know a thing about us. It felt like the right way to start of our journey of bonding with them on their terms. To have them give their consent in a way to us.

I ended up taking Il over and crouching down next to El and talking to her too.

I think it was good for her to see her sister on my hip and eventually El felt ok about Mark picking her up and we stood there finally holding our girls! They were pretty docile. Flat affect. They weren't protesting being picked up, but you could see that they were cautious about us. They weren't showing off or being clingy or affectionate...which I was so relieved to see. Indiscriminate affection with a total stranger like that is a sign that attachment will be more challenging. We wanted to see some unsurety, but were glad that we took things slowly enough with them that they weren't at all upset by us scooping them up.

Mark and I both walked over to the window to look outside with the girls which they enjoyed.

We talked for a few minutes and then Alison said that we could take them! It was so surreal! We smiled and waved at their nanny and walked out the door, down the stairs, out of the orphanage and outside the metal green gate toward the guest house.

Things may not have gone exactly like I pictured they would with a nanny presenting us with our children and being able to immediately cuddle them or console their cries...but I am so glad. The way everything unfolded was so natural and seamless. Mark and I didn't discuss anything about expectations for that moment (except wanting someone to video it), yet we felt so connected and on the same page with how we proceeded and approached things with that first moment of meeting our girls. It was beautiful.

I have yet been able to talk about this moment of meeting the girls without becoming very emotional. Yes, it was a long awaited beautiful moment. It was also more than that. I can honestly say that for me it was a spiritual experience. While I was overcome with emotion and gratitude the emotion that stands out to me as the most surprising was how unbelievable calm I felt. If you know me...that wouldn't probably be one of the first adjectives you'd use to describe me, especially in situations that would be really important. I'm generally nervous or emotional at times like that. I thought I would probably cry or not be able to fully take in the moment, but I felt utter and total peace. My heart knew with certainty that these two beautiful little girls were meant to come to our home. 

I felt overwhelming gratitude in that moment to my Heavenly Father for everything that He orchestrated in our lives and theirs to bring us together, and that out of heartache and trauma that they experienced in the first few months of their lives (both them and surely their mother)...that He watched over them and cared for them through so many people. I felt so grateful that their little bodies were able to become so strong and healthy. I felt grateful for the many nannies, staff, and medical professionals who have tended to them to help them not only be healthy, but happy and to allow their little personalities to flourish. That they have been able to form healthy attachments. I felt grateful for our agency's adoption worker and their in-Haiti rep who had worked so hard on our behalf. I felt such a flood of gratitude for all of these things, and for all of the things that I know will come as part of them joining our family...and yet those very clear feelings and thoughts of gratitude were shrouded in the most calm feeling of peace. It is difficult to describe. I can only explain it as a divine confirmation to me that these are our daughters. That our Father in Heaven loves them and that He loves me.

So, no. That very first moment meeting our girls didn't play out the way I would have anticipated. We didn't rush in and scoop them up, or have them immediately handed to us. I wasn't a puddle of sobbing emotion. The moment was slow. And calm. And it was perfect.

The tears I expected then come now as I replay that moment in my mind...and often as I either miss our girls or when I am frequently overcome with the gratitude I have for how abundantly we have been blessed to become these sweet girls' parents.

Getting to Haiti...and arriving in Kenscoff

Wow.

I literally cannot believe that it's January and I'm only now finally sitting down to write about our visit to meet our girls!!!

I thought that I would blog about things while I was in Haiti, but there was so much to process and it was emotionally and physically exhausting. Mark and I did a pretty good job disconnecting from things and focusing on our time there. Of course there was diabetes stuff we needed to field and we enjoyed FaceTiming with family several times and loading pictures to share, but other than that we pretty much just focused our time either on the girls or on processing everything with each other. And then I got sick, but let's take things one step at a time for this re-cap!

First of all! Getting everything packed and ready to leave the country is always a lot of work. This time the stakes felt so much higher. We've anticipated this trip so much for so many years and I wanted everything to go smoothly and be perfect. I wanted to have the right activities to help interact with our girls. I wanted to have cute clothes (in the right size) to put on their cute little selves. I wanted to bring plenty of snacks for us and the girls...and wanted the snacks we gave them to also be healthy and give them nutrients. I wanted to come prepared with every necessary immunization done (that was a whole thing to get completed...long boring story), and I wanted to come prepared with every possible medication we could need while there. I wanted to be sure to maximize the items in our checked bags to be able to bring as many donations as possible to our orphanage. I wanted to have their flip books just perfect (with pictures of our family, home, etc all lamented and on a ring for the girls to flip through). I needed to type up grandparent instructions for both sets of grandparents with every necessary detail (especially on diabetes). I wanted the house to be clean and comfortable for my mom to stay here while we were gone. Everything just was a struggle to get done (and I didn't even touch on the excitement of getting proper travel arrangements made, documents submitted while out of state, etc since I covered that in another post)...and of course we wanted to be sure to celebrate Thanksgiving early with Mark's side of the family the day before we left.

I spent hours on the phone trying to track down my immunization records (why did I not do this way in advance??). It took my multiple tries printing pictures to have the order done right and then when Mark took the pics to get hard lamination done the machine jammed and ruined one and we had to re-do it. Paperwork packets (times 2) took forever to finish. Life happened in between everything else...including a fiasco with Max at school that had me feeling in a panic about leaving him here and going to Haiti.

Obviously I'm on this side of things so just listing everything out leaves it void of the angst, stress, anxiety and downright sleep deprivation that accompanied it all. Oh...and a case of pink eye that hit the day before we left of course. On the flip side - amidst all of this chaos we were also soooo excited to be going to meet our girls!! I spent more time that I should scouring the internet for pictures of them and just staring at their cute faces.

In the end, everything important got done...and even several things that weren't really important in the grand scheme of things.

On the morning of Sunday, November 18th we got the boys all ready in church clothes and took the younger two and dropped them off at my parents house so they could attend church with them. Mark's parents would be taking Noah to church after dropping us off at the airport and everything went smoothly with dropping us off with all our luggage!

Our two checked bags of donations each weighed-in exactly at the 50 pound weight limit and our checked bags were both over the allowed size for our airlines, but we decided to just chance it in order to bring everything we wanted to bring for 2 weeks of bonding with our sweet girls.

We flew American Airlines to Dallas and then on to Fort Lauderdale. We had a hotel booked right in the FLL airport, but after a flight delay, the need to stop to buy water (we were advised to do that upon arriving so we'd have it when we got to Haiti in case the demonstrations got out of control and we were stranded in the airport), and very long time to get our luggage...we got to our room much later than anticipated.

By the time we were settled in our room we only had a few hours until we needed to be leaving our room early for our next flight. I then faced the dilemma of sleeping pill or no sleeping pill. I don't generally rely on sleeping pills but with my exceptionally wonky sleep schedule, the time change, and how overactive my brain was about meeting the girls in the morning (and worries about the political climate in Haiti) I knew that I wouldn't sleep without one. The problem is that sleeping pill should be taken when one can dedicate 8 hours to sleep. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to get up when I needed to. I went back and forth and Mark just kept telling me I'd be fine and to take it. So...I took the sleeping pill. And that's about the last thing I remember until I was sitting on the plane the next day. I have no recollection of taking this photo, but the part of my brain that needs to document must have been working!...

Yep. I boarded the plane to meet our daughters totally drugged. Not how I would've pictured that going.

Apparently when Mark woke me up I was glassy eyed and did everything really slowly. He kept saying that we needed to hurry and apparently I was super laid back and kept saying that we had plenty of time (very not me). He said it was super strange. I moved really slowly and he had to carry my bags and hold my arm to steady me up a large flight of stairs like I needed special assistance. We were utilizing a free month trial of the "clear" program...you pre-register and then use a dedicated (short) line through security and don't have to show any ID. Instead you do an eye scan or fingerprint. Apparently when I was trying to do the eye scan my gaze kept slowly drifting away and the attendant had to repeatedly kindly redirect me. I remember none of this, mind you! So embarrassing!! Mark ended up checking our carry on bags because it was too much for him to manage those and me...and we knew we'd catch flack for their size too.

Anyway, I guess that whole sleeping pill thing is just part of our story, but I will NOT be doing that again. I'm so glad things wore off during the flight at some point and I was right as rain once we landed in Haiti. Here is a picture of one of our first glimpses of Haiti. We grew to love this country so much before ever even setting foot there.

Things went smoothly getting our luggage. All 4 pieces arrived safely (I was worried once I realized we'd checked all of our belongings). We were able to decline the persistent offers to help us with luggage (which you'll pay for) and Alison from c4c was right outside the airport doors with our driver Jean Robert (not sure if I'm spelling that right). Alison has a guy she always hires to load luggage in the van and we were happy to toss a couple bucks his way and be loaded up and on our way!

We were very relieved to hear that the streets were relatively quiet as the protests had been pretty intense in the days prior to us arriving. There had been mention from Alison about checking with our airline about their policy in case we had to reschedule and Chareyl did say there was the possibility that the U.S. could close flights to Haiti and we could end up stuck in Florida until we could get out. We were very grateful that we were able to avoid any demonstrations on our way to the orphanage. There was a very high police presence (who were heavily armed), but the streets were less busy than normal since people were staying home so that got us out of Port-au-Prince faster than normal actually.

We stopped at Giant grocery store on our way up the mountain. We stocked up on some food for lunches, snacks and to get us through the Sundays when our cook would have the day off. I was surprised by the large variety of everything they had there and we enjoyed picking some things up (and avoiding looking at prices).

Most meals we ate were prepared by the amazing cook who we paid to make breakfasts and dinners and that was a real treat, but it was also good to have some basics and some hot cocoa at nights when it was cool in the mountains!

The views on the way up the mountain to Kenscoff took our breath away. So stunningly beautiful.

Mark sat up front with the driver and I sat in back with Alison while we drove. I tried to soak in everything we were seeing of this beautiful, complex Caribbean country that gave us our daughters. The drive wasn't too long (less than an hour) and before we knew it we were unloading our luggage at the guest house! Our driver entered the yellow gate being manned by the armed guard and pulled right up near the cement stairs we could descend with our luggage to the guest house.

The yellow building (now the guest house) used to be used for the orphanage, but that was later moved just up the street to its current location and now the building is used as a guest house for teams of volunteers for c4c (chances for children) and their various projects and for adoptive families.

The building right next to that one (behind the same gate) houses a medical clinic that is open to the community, storage for their feeding programs, a sewing area for women that are employed there and an area for the beaded jewelry that is made locally. Behind the guesthouse is the area where all day long women are washing and hanging laundry in a grassy area with the lush backdrop of foliage and mountains. Chickens and roosters roam the grounds (and the confused rooster crows all night long...no exaggeration).

Alison gave us a brief tour of the guesthouse and as we were the only family there at the time we took first pick on bedrooms. We took the first one as it had the easiest access for us coming in and out of the building frequently with the girls.

We didn't do too much to settle in as we were excited to go meet the girls! We headed outside, left the yellow gate and walked up the road of dirt and rocks. Straight across the street from the guesthouse was a steep hillside where we often saw grazing animals.

On that dirt road we often saw school children, people carrying all sizes and shapes of water containers, people with pigs or donkeys, and small motorcycles carrying various numbers of people...using their engines to go up the hill (toward the orphanage) or with their engines off to save gas and coasting down.

Also, when walking up to the orphanage, on the right hand side of the "road" there was a colorful, old, abandoned Tap-Tap. I will remember to get a good picture of it the next time I go. We arrived at the green gate of the orphanage and had Alison snap a quick picture of the two of us before we walked inside.

We were both so anxious. So curious. So overwhelmed. To finally be at that green gate.

One hand

Things have been super crazy around here. It's hard for me to harness all my nervous energy that I'm using to get things done and slow down enough to sit down and write right now, but I want to at least post something amidst all this wonderful chaos!

I can count on one hand how many days until I get to hold our girls! One hand! Our travel dates were approved by IBESR and our flights begin this Sunday (in 4 days)...and we arrive the next day, so on Monday, in Haiti!

Last weekend I was in New Orleans (from Tours-Sunday) with Mark and my friend Sydnie. We had the trip planned long before our referral because Mark was attending a work conference for an organization where he sits on the board. Even though it wasn't great timing with everything we had to get done we didn't want to cancel (plus our flights were expensive)! It was such a fun long weekend. There was a lot of emailing back and forth about adoption stuff while we were there though, including booking our flights to Haiti.

On Friday I realized that I misunderstood the process for getting travel approval from IBESR. Amidst the shuffle of emails and documents I received I missed the information that I was supposed to edit a travel request document and have it notarized. Somehow I thought that requesting our dates from IBESR was something Chareyl took care of once we had approval from our orphanage. Anyway! Once we found out we immediately headed out in the rain back to the hotel where we edited the document.

Once the document was done Mark went to the guest's office to print the document, but their printer wasn't working. He ended up getting someone at the concierge to help him with it. We then found a place with a notary that was open (some were closed on Fridays) and hurried to where that was located. We arrived there only to find out that I left my ID in my other jacket...so Mark ran back out into the rain all the way back to the hotel to get it. We eventually got the document notarized and headed back to the hotel to scan it in. Of course the scanner in the office didn't work...then they couldn't get the one at the concierge to work either. Thankfully they took us to an executive office where they got it to work, but it wouldn't show up in my email. Finally we figured out they had entered my email address in wrong (missed a letter). Whew! Finally we had the document and sent it off to Chareyl who had to juggle a lot on her end I'm sure also to get it to her rep while she was out in the countryside of Haiti herself managing a volunteer group.

Everything worked out alright, but we are also concerned about a planned demonstration for the day we arrive. We're hopeful our driver can pick us up quickly and get us out of Port au Prince by going around the demonstration sites and get us up to Kenscoff. There is the possibility that if things get out of hand we could get stuck in Florida for another night, but we'll see.

Yesterday I also mailed a cashier's check off to our orphanage to pay for our guest house stay and our transportation.

This is really happening! Now back to paperwork, packing, immunizations...

So glad I know their faces

I just wanted to drop a line to say that while I am anxious to get travel dates so we can book our flights to go meet our little girls...I am so very grateful that I know their little faces. That I know where they are and who is caring for them.

I'm grateful that right now before I fall asleep I can look at their pictures and finally know who this last part of my heart belongs to that has already not belonged to me for so many years.

I love them so much already. And I did before I ever saw their picture. Oh how wonderful it is going to be to actually be able to HOLD them!!!