You know how occasionally in life you make friends that because they love you, they also grow to love your children as an extension of you?...Forget the fact that sometimes that is literally true...the point is that it is so meaningful to have friends that mourn over your child's hurts with you and rejoice in their joys alongside you also. In this case, I'm referring to my dear friend Sarah. Let me give you a little bit of background about our friendship just for fun...
July 3rd of last year (yes I know the date) I was looking at the prayer list on the Adopting from Haiti FB group I'm part of. They keep a running list of families that have been waiting a long time for referrals for those that want to pray for them. Once a family gets a referral they come off the list. So! I was feeling particularly sad and tender about not having our referral yet and wondering when it would come...then I decided to just take a peek at other families that had been waiting a long time like we had. The length of time on this list is determined by the length of time since a family's file entered IBESR (division of the Haitian government that issues adoption referrals).
I looked at a couple other families that were both Canadian (of course I'm looking for any correlation between waiting families where there is none to find, but I was looking anyway out of curiosity I guess). I continued looking and saw and saw Justin and Sarah Bagley who entered IBESR a couple months before we did. I looked at her FB page (yes, it's a bit stalker-ish) and was floored to see that her most recent post was asking about if anyone had a phone they didn't use that they could use for their son's CGM. What??! There is someone out there who not only understood the heart-wrenching wait involved in adopting from Haiti for so many years, but ALSO had a son (also her youngest child) who has type 1 diabetes?! Not only that, but I had literally just posted the same request a couple weeks earlier because Max ruined his phone when we forgot to take it out of his pouch when we went to the beach on vacation.
Anyway! I commented on the thread that I hoped they get their referral soon, that we're at the same stage as them and that we also have a child with T1D! She responded tongue in cheek with, "No way!!! Oh my gosh can we be best friends?!" Apparently I took her literally. Haha...we messaged back and forth a bit and then I sent her a private message and we messaged that way for a while, then I said that I'd love to talk to her about adoption and diabetes stuff and would she be willing to download an app called Marco Polo. In hindsight I'm pretty impressed that she was willing to do that! I just took a screenshot of the beginning of that first conversation over 7 months ago. Here it is...
Sarah sent me her first Marco Polo and we launched into a friendship that neither of us new would become so deep and meaningful. Of course at first we talked primarily about diabetes and adoption, then we shared lots of things about our lives and what we like/don't like. Eventually we shared things that were more personal and began to provide emotional and spiritual support for one another. We just connected on so many levels and still have yet to miss a day Marco Polo-ing one another since we met! It is pretty uncanny how many things we are similar on...right down to sharing the same birthday (a few years apart)!
We have sent some pretty random messages, in some pretty weird places (and with lots of less-than-flattering angles), but with the number of hours that we've logged talking I'm sure we've invested in what would take a "normal" friendship years to accomplish. I absolutely consider her one of my very best friends. We share everything with each other. I even had the opportunity to travel to NYC with a childhood friend of mine to meet Sarah and her daughter for a fun girls weekend!
Sarah and I daydream about what it will be like for her to get her referral. I not-so-secretly pray that it's in God's plan that she could get a referral to the same orphanage as us so we could travel together and hold one another's girls. She celebrated alongside me with us receiving our referral to the twins. I've shared as much as possible about the bonding trip (giving her tips of things to do ahead of time and sharing everything about the journey along the way). I was elated that she didn't push away when I recently doubled down on my urging her to contact Chareyl to ask questions about changing adoption agencies...and I can't tell you how thrilled I was when she knew for herself that was the right time to make that move for their family. I'm so glad to know that the most knowledgable, experienced person facilitating adoptions in Haiti (Chareyl) is in Sarah's corner now too. I simply can't WAIT to see her experience the joy that I experienced after 6 years of waiting to know who my daughters were!
So! That is a bit of background about the tender connection Sarah and I have when it comes to our friendship, but also our connection to our future children from Haiti. So...when Sarah was shopping sales she found some screaming deals and couldn't help but snatch up some darling clothes for our girls...and she included my favorite maple caramel chocolate bars that she introduced me to (from Vermont where she lives)! This package arrived the day that Mark was traveling back home from his recent visit to see the girls (I'll write a little about that in my next post). It truly was such a bright spot in my day...not only to receive such a fun package and things for our girls, but that I have a friend who is yearning to know her own beautiful Haitian girl and still finds it in her to love on me and our girls. I'm pretty dang lucky.
Now! On to more bright spots! I've shared here the frustrations and hold-ups that we've had with getting provisional approval for our girls' I800 applications. It's been hard to come home and miss them so much and not see any concrete steps moving toward being able to bring them home. There are a lot of steps to get there, but it helps to see baby steps moving that direction and we've been at a stand-still. Well! Today we got their provisional approval in the mail! Woot-woot! I panicked a little bit at first because I thought there was only approval for one twin until I realized the other paper was stuck behind the first one. Now...since US Embassy employees were evacuated from Haiti (I'll get to that in the next post) there is nothing we can do to move on to the next step which is provisional visa approval so we can exit IBESR and move on to courts. For today though, I'll just celebrate the bright spot of our government giving a nod to us bringing these sweet girls home once we can get this adoption finalized!!
Last bright spot! This is why I'm writing these down...so when things are slow and that ache for my girls is deep and painful I can go back and remind myself how blessed I am. And so my girls can read someday all the big and little ways that the hand of the Lord orchestrated all of this. I know that Heavenly Father reaches out to comfort me through other people. I'm so grateful for them and I'm so grateful for Him! One of those people is named Cherry.
Cherry has a joyful spirit and brightness to her...the name of the sweet (also tart) and cheerful summer fruit is so appropriate for her. She's thoughtful, smart and spunky. She participated in the Haitian Creole class that we recently participated in and she came up to the Haitian Roots fundraiser last fall. I enjoy seeing the things she shares on social media and feel connected to her through her wit.
I was feeling quite sad over the weekend about the state of things in Haiti and got a message from Cherry just letting me know to expect a little something in the mail and that she hoped it would help with morale. At first I was surprised that she knew I was struggling, then I realized that all of us who love Haiti are struggling. Cherry just managed to realize that and act on trying to help someone else...are we seeing a pattern here? I continue to be blessed with people in my life who, while struggling through their own journey during this adoption process look for ways to lift and bless others who are struggling alongside them. What a beautiful example...and truly what a bright spot for me.
Here is a picture of the coloring book Cherry sent to me. She said that she finishes a page each month and has found it to be therapeutic for her. I'll give it a try!! Underneath it is our I800 approval!
I'm so grateful for these bright spots in this long journey. Grateful for people I can link arms with, even if it be from across the country through Marco Polo, on social media, or through items sent/received in the mail. Grateful for the little network I am building and connecting myself with now that will be wonderful to watch grow as children join their families and we can continue to support one another with new struggles when the REAL journey begins!
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