3 years!

When someone asks me how long we've been waiting to adopt I never know what to say.  How long since our paperwork actually made it to Haiti? (7 weeks) How long since we finished our dossier for our Haitian adoption?  (4 months) How long since our home study was completed for ourHaitian adoption? (7 months) How long since the beginning of our Haitian adoption process? (10 months)...or do they mean including our prior failed adoption from Ethiopia? The answer to that question would be 3 years.  Three years ago today actually.  Three years ago today we turned in our initial application to AGCI to adopt from Ethiopia.  We were so excited, a tiny bit naive, and very hopeful.

The way I look at it is that there are likely reasons that I don't know or understand why we felt led to adopt from Ethiopia when we did, just for it to result in all that lost time and money. That being said, one thing that I do believe is this: the course things took led us to adopting from Haiti and at this time because there is a child there that is meant for our family at this time. I also believe that a lot of the things we went through during that 2+ years pursuing our Ethiopian adoption helped shape us and prepare us for this adoption. Things we learned, people we met and have communicated with, people we relied on in our lives here when things were rough, adoption stories we've become familiar with, familiarity with the unpredictable nature of the international adoption process, our concern to do things properly instead of just quickly...all these things weave together to bring us to where we are (and who we are) today. So, even though everything we went through with our Ethiopian adoption process isn't technically related to our current Haitian adoption, I certainly still consider it part of our adoption journey and part of the story of how we found our way to our daughter. In fact it feels inseparably interwoven.

So! If you ask me today how long we've been waiting to adopt our daughter I will say 3 years! And while another day I may not be feeling quite as ok with the wait, today I'm feeling faithful in His timing and encouraged knowing that it will happen someday and that it will all be worth it!

On that note! Let me share something that we participated in today that was really great to be a part of! We supported a fundraising effort by Haitian Roots to raise money to educate children in Haiti who could not otherwise afford an education. A couple close friends and several of my family members supported my "team" effort to spread this fundraising effort by donating money or purchasing t-shirts to wear while running or walking on October 3rd (today)! I named our team "Bay Espwa" and it means "Give Hope" in Haitian Kreyòl.

While adoption is obviously close to my heart, and I believe that every child deserves a home and family, I do also feel very passionate that the way to combat severe poverty (which is ultimately the cause of a great number of children who are in need of adoption) is through education of the people that live there. Education that will empower children to someday acquire jobs to provide for themselves and their family, but also to contribute to bettering their community and their country. Naturally, this is closer to our hearts because the effort is taking place in the country of our future daughter's birth. By adopting a child from Haiti we feel like we are in essence adopting another country into our hearts also.  Because of that it means a lot to me for so many of those people that we love to support this effort - it feels like them also rallying around us in our preparations to welcome this little girl into our family someday.

Here is a photo of my family in our "Running for Haiti" t-shirts:

While the Running for Haiti fundraiser had nothing to do with adoption, we are obviously waiting to adopt a child from this country. So, doing a little something today that we hope can be a drop in something larger that will help benefit the country of her birth...well, it seemed like the PERFECT way to "celebrate" our 3 year milestone since starting our adoption journey.

Now here's to hoping that it isn't another 3 years before we get her home.

We are in IBESR!!!

We got an email from Chareyl today congratulating us on our papers arriving in IBESR (this is the division of government in Haiti that will eventually give us an official referral of our child).  We still have a long way to go, but this is a HUGE concrete step toward our little girl!  Feeling pretty over the moon right now!!!

Here's a screen shot of my phone showing a receipt that says when our dossier was received and accepted by IBESR:

OUR PAPERS ARE IN HAITI!

I just heard from Chareyl today that our dossier was sent to Haiti a couple weeks ago!  It arrived one week ago today, was reviewed by a paralegal hired by our agency and then was submitted for the legalization process last Thursday (the 20th)!

It generally takes 2-3 weeks to complete the legalization process in Haiti before our papers can officially submitted to IBESR (they are the government agency that will eventually issue an official referral of our child to us).

This is a really big step for us and I'm very excited!  Woot woot!

Maybe it's the rain...

The last couple of weeks I've particularly had baby girl on my mind.

Sometimes I just wonder if she's born yet, if she's being fed or held, if she's safe.

Sometimes I wonder if her mother is still carrying her and if something horrible (disease, death or other tragedy) is yet to happen or if her mother already anguishes knowing the upcoming decision is she's going to be faced with due to circumstance.  I worry if her mother has support.  I worry if SHE has food and if SHE is safe.

Sometimes I feel awful that the blessing and joy that will come into our life has to be preceded by trauma and heartbreak for our child and her first family.

Sometimes I wish that I could just see what was happening with her and her family right now, and other times I think that it may be best that I can't.

Sometimes I feel ashamed at the privilege and excess that I enjoy, and other times I'm grateful that I have it to share.

I have been able to see pictures of someone we know that is in Haiti now visiting their daughter while they wait for her adoption paperwork to process in Haiti.  She is a lovely little girl.  I can't imagine how difficult it must be each time they have to leave her there now that they have held, cared for and loved on that sweet little person.  Looking at the pictures has made me pine a bit more for some progress in our journey.  To be a little closer to holding our little girl.  We surely have at least another year before we'll see our daughter's face, possibly 2 years until we bring her home...but we've already been actively on this journey for nearly 3 years now.  Sometimes it just feels too long.  Other times it's just how it is.

I've read lots of adoptive parents in situations like ours write down similar aching that they've had while waiting for their child, only to go back later once they have their child and realize what was going on in their child's life when they were having those stirrings in their heart.  I wonder if maybe this is one of those things.  Maybe she was recently born into difficult circumstances.  Maybe trauma is occurring in her family that will result in her soon being brought to an orphanage.  Maybe I'll know someday, and maybe I won't.

...or maybe it's just the rain today.

Just thinking...

I've had baby girl on my mind a lot lately.  Sometimes when that happens I itch to write something here...

I don't really have much new to tell from the last time I posted, but here's what I do have.  On July 27th we attended a picnic for our adoption agency.  We had the pleasure of meeting a family there who is also adopting from Haiti and were leaving the next day to meet their child for the first time!  It was really exciting to talk to them.  They turned their dossier in last summer too, so that was fairly encouraging to us to picture ourselves perhaps at the picnic next year being close to heading to Haiti ourselves (one never knows about timelines with adoption, but it doesn't keep us from trying to figure it out or from hoping).

While we were there Chareyl did say that most likely we would be sent to their affiliated orphanage that had agreed to take our file without a match since they have 4 children leaving soon (meaning they will have spots open for 4 incoming children and a good likelihood that one would meet our parameters).  Chareyl said that she would probably send our file to Haiti within 2 weeks.  Mind you this was 3 1/2 weeks ago.  I'm not upset if she hasn't sent them or anything, but I am curious if there has been any change (if an orphanage took in a child that could be considered a potential match for us) or if perhaps she did send our papers and is waiting for confirmation of them being received to let us know.  I'm anxious for news, but not in a stressed out kind of way (which is normally more my M.O. for those that know me).  I'm actually excited.  Hopeful.  It's just kind of a big milestone to have the papers send off, so I'm excited to know that I'm allowed to be excited about it :)

I sent off an email to Chareyl today just following up on things, so we'll see what she has to say!

Newsletter update

Chareyl sent out a general update to Haiti families about a week ago.  She does that periodically just to touch bases and update on anything going on relevant to Haitian adoptions.  In that update Chareyl mentioned that she was nominated and elected the Joint Council Haitian caucus co-chair.  Most Hague accredited agencies and most if not all agencies working in Haiti are members of the Joint Council.  Their annual meeting is this month and Mr. Guillaume (second in command with IBESR, who issues official adoption referrals in Haiti) has agreed to attend.  Chareyl will be one of the people able to attend and address a list of questions and concerns regarding adoptions in Haiti.  Any time something like this can happen it is very encouraging and there is hope for progress to be made from this type of direct communication.  Additionally, I believe that the Council will benefit greatly from Chareyl's insight and lengthy experience regarding Haiti and Haitian adoptions.  Thumbs up all around!

Also!  Chareyl confirmed a rumor that I heard that IBESR recently hired and are training 10 new staff members!  That is a really big deal as one of the biggest hold-ups with processing Haitian adoptions is the sheer amount of work that has to be done to process the paperwork and the lack of staff!  They may be adding an additional fee to cover the cost of these staff members, but that is well worth it in my opinion!  Very encouraging news!

Haitian Roots

In case I haven't ever mentioned this amazing organization, I figured now was a good time.   A couple weeks ago I volunteered at a yard sale benefitting Haitian Roots.  The yard sale brought in a couple thousand dollars, but would have been a lot more if it hadn't been so cold and pouring rain the whole time.  So!  They stored all the leftover items and did a second yard sale last Saturday and I enjoyed volunteering at that as well.  Here are a couple pictures of those of us running the yard sale:

The goal set for the yard sale was $5,000 and with proceeds and donations (from both tries at the yard sale) that goal was met, and exceeded.  One hundred percent of these funds go to Haitian Roots which provides education for children in Haiti who would otherwise receive no education.  I absolutely believe that this is the most effective long term solution for making change in Haiti, and it was satisfying to play a tiny role in helping an organization that is focused on this role.  Haitian Roots also sponsors an orphanage in Haiti as well, and the children in that orphanage are able to receive education as well while they are waiting to be adopted.  Please take a look at Haitian Roots website to learn more about the organization and how you can help...whether it's with time, donations, or sponsorship of a child!

Also a huge shout out to Towne Storage who stored all the yard sale items until the sale, hosted the sale, and will even auction off the remainder of the items as a unit.  Hopefully joining up with them can be an annual partnership!

Chareyl (our adoption worker with WIAA) also happens to be on the board of directors for Haitian Roots (she is in the photos above wearing yellow).  She, like everyone else I met volunteering here, has a passion for the people of Haiti.  While volunteering at the yard sale Chareyl introduced me to another adoptive parent there who is waiting to bring her daughter home.  When asked what point of the process we were at with adopting, Chareyl chimed in that our papers were completely finished, copied and ready to send off to Haiti (fun to hear!) and that she has "two maybes" from orphanages that may be able to take our file.  Now, I'm not sure exactly what that means (and I refrained from asking)...I don't know if that means they have children that could potentially be a match for us, or that they're confident that they will at some point.  Either way, I'll be excited to hear what happens and things sound promising :)

It has been fun to re-connect with Brianne (Bri), that I grew up with, over Haiti.  She has been involved with Haitian Roots for some time, including a trip down there when the school was officially opened. They also hope to adopt from Haiti someday.  She is the one in the photos with the long, dark hair.  She grew up in my ward, just down the street from me, and we also played soccer together.  It was fun to see her and her mom and sister...and fun that they have the same enthusiasm about Haiti that I feel.  I may not have traveled there yet, but I already feel such a connection to this country that will be the heritage and birthplace of our child.

I have to mention that the other adoptive parent that Chareyl introduced me to is Jaimi.  She is married to Ryan who grew up in Morgan (and therefor knows Mark's family).  Ryan and Mark's parents both are in a group of couples that get together regularly and it came up that they are both expecting little Haitian grandkids someday, so we got in touch and were able to see all of Ryan & Jaimi's pictures (in a private online album) from their socialization visit to Haiti to meet their daughter.  So!  It was fun to meet them both in person at the yard sale!  I was even able to go through all the clothes that didn't sell at the yard sale and pick out clothing for kids at the orphanage (that's run by Haitian Roots) that Jaimi will take back with her next time she goes to visit her daughter while waiting for paperwork to clear to bring her home.  It made me want to get on a plane and go to Haiti right now.  Not yet.  Someday...