One hand

Things have been super crazy around here. It's hard for me to harness all my nervous energy that I'm using to get things done and slow down enough to sit down and write right now, but I want to at least post something amidst all this wonderful chaos!

I can count on one hand how many days until I get to hold our girls! One hand! Our travel dates were approved by IBESR and our flights begin this Sunday (in 4 days)...and we arrive the next day, so on Monday, in Haiti!

Last weekend I was in New Orleans (from Tours-Sunday) with Mark and my friend Sydnie. We had the trip planned long before our referral because Mark was attending a work conference for an organization where he sits on the board. Even though it wasn't great timing with everything we had to get done we didn't want to cancel (plus our flights were expensive)! It was such a fun long weekend. There was a lot of emailing back and forth about adoption stuff while we were there though, including booking our flights to Haiti.

On Friday I realized that I misunderstood the process for getting travel approval from IBESR. Amidst the shuffle of emails and documents I received I missed the information that I was supposed to edit a travel request document and have it notarized. Somehow I thought that requesting our dates from IBESR was something Chareyl took care of once we had approval from our orphanage. Anyway! Once we found out we immediately headed out in the rain back to the hotel where we edited the document.

Once the document was done Mark went to the guest's office to print the document, but their printer wasn't working. He ended up getting someone at the concierge to help him with it. We then found a place with a notary that was open (some were closed on Fridays) and hurried to where that was located. We arrived there only to find out that I left my ID in my other jacket...so Mark ran back out into the rain all the way back to the hotel to get it. We eventually got the document notarized and headed back to the hotel to scan it in. Of course the scanner in the office didn't work...then they couldn't get the one at the concierge to work either. Thankfully they took us to an executive office where they got it to work, but it wouldn't show up in my email. Finally we figured out they had entered my email address in wrong (missed a letter). Whew! Finally we had the document and sent it off to Chareyl who had to juggle a lot on her end I'm sure also to get it to her rep while she was out in the countryside of Haiti herself managing a volunteer group.

Everything worked out alright, but we are also concerned about a planned demonstration for the day we arrive. We're hopeful our driver can pick us up quickly and get us out of Port au Prince by going around the demonstration sites and get us up to Kenscoff. There is the possibility that if things get out of hand we could get stuck in Florida for another night, but we'll see.

Yesterday I also mailed a cashier's check off to our orphanage to pay for our guest house stay and our transportation.

This is really happening! Now back to paperwork, packing, immunizations...

So glad I know their faces

I just wanted to drop a line to say that while I am anxious to get travel dates so we can book our flights to go meet our little girls...I am so very grateful that I know their little faces. That I know where they are and who is caring for them.

I'm grateful that right now before I fall asleep I can look at their pictures and finally know who this last part of my heart belongs to that has already not belonged to me for so many years.

I love them so much already. And I did before I ever saw their picture. Oh how wonderful it is going to be to actually be able to HOLD them!!!

Shopping and our acceptance letter

Since the twins are at an orphanage in the mountains I needed to go get some leggings, long sleeved shirts and warmer pajamas to send them. It actually gets down into the 50's at night time there this time of year (and it's humid). I was also able to do a little shopping for someone in Haiti that Chareyl knows too. Girl shopping is fun!!

I managed to fit a few outfits for each twin, pajamas and a cardigan each into 2 ziplock baggies! I thought that was pretty good! I dropped them off to Chareyl last night. She leaves for Haiti tomorrow! It makes me so happy that she'll be able to bring these things for our girls!

The other update is that we got our English translation for our referral documents (about 27 pages long). We spent a long time today going over those, trying to understand everything and then finishing our acceptance letter and getting it notarized! Here we are getting it notarized!...

I scanned in and sent that acceptance letter and one other document to Chareyl today and we're excited to hear from the orphanage to pin down travel dates now!

It happened!!! It really happened!!!!!

I'll start at the end of this story first...we received our official referral for our twin girls today!!! We know their names, their birthday, and have a whole bunch of other information that hasn't been translated yet! Some of the big questions we have won't be answered for a few days since it's a 4 day weekend with the holiday this weekend...but in the meantime we are so over the moon!  Let me document how things went down today.

After hearing yesterday that IBESR had received the document it requested on Monday a tiny part of me was really hopeful that we could get a referral today, but I hardly dared give that thought any attention let alone mutter those words out loud. Thursday and Friday are a holiday in Haiti so I knew it was likely that we wouldn't hear anything sooner than next week - assuming that the document was in order and they were satisfied with it (and if not that could have led to long delays having it redone).

So! Today was Halloween. Anyone who knows me is aware that I am a huge fan of Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. So it was so appropriate to me to get this long awaited news today of all days. I was at the elementary school for Max's costume parade and class party. My mom came also, but we found out that the parade she came to watch happened earlier that day, so she decided that she'd walk by her other grandkids' classrooms and then be on her way. I went in to help with the party and dose Max insulin for any snacks they were having at the party. About 5-10 minutes into things I was looking at my phone to manage Max's numbers and saw a text from Chareyl come across my screen. It said:

"It's your best Halloween! I am just getting home but got a message from Nisthone that he just sent me your referral packets. A____ and A____ born September 22, 2016. I'll be sending to translator and to you soon!"

I gasped and dropped what I was doing and instinctively ran out into the hallway. I was trying to hold back happy tears and half hyperventilating and ran right out the door into my mom that was still at the school after saying hello to her other grandkids! She immediately got all worried and quickly asked what was wrong (thinking I was upset). I told her that we got our referral and she was so excited...and wanted to see the text for herself. I had her video me trying to FaceTime Mark, but he didn't answer. I was so overwhelmed, emotional, happy and couldn't think straight.

I began to get texts from Mark saying he had a really bad headache so I offered to bring him something and he asked for Excedrin. At this point I realized that I had forgotten about Noah who was just getting out of school, so my mom drove over to pick him up. Before going back in to finish Max's party I FaceTimed my dear friend Sarah to tell her the news. I was so emotional and excited and trying to hold it together.

When I went back into Max's classroom I went over to the game of musical chairs he was playing and when he got out I couldn't contain things...I called him over to me and whispered to him, "We got our referral! We got the referral for the twins!" He was really excited and just kept saying over and over how happy he was. Then I snapped this picture with Max to remember that moment.

I asked Max not to tell his brothers and then after school was out I told them myself right away! Then my mom took Noah and Lincoln and dropped them off at home while I took Max with me to tell Mark!

I did bring Mark Excedrin, but Max and I also had an elaborate plan of how Max would video me telling Mark about the referral and when it came down to it...as soon as he was filming I just blurted it out. Mark managed to stay calm and see 3 more patients while I about crawled out of my seat waiting to open it with him!

We already received the huge news about being matched to twins, who they were, how old, and what orphanage they're at (things you normally find out with referral) so the thrill with this was knowing that it's official. The photos that were included were older black and white copies of photos, so we're anxious for more updated photos! We did find out their names though which was exciting. I'm not going to type them here as I don't think we should share any specific information about them or pictures of them until the adoption is finalized.

I still feel elated though. It's after midnight and I should definitely be sleeping, but after we finished at   Mark's office we sped home and immediately jumped straight into costumes and trick or treating! I haven't had enough time to digest our big news! I just got online and announced it on the Adopting from Haiti page and joined the facebook page for families adopting from our agency.

Chareyl has emailed me several things we need to get going on, but we can't do anything regarding solidifying travel dates until we can coordinate with both the orphanage and IBESR so that won't happen until after the holiday weekend. There is paperwork I can't get going on tomorrow when I have slept and have a clearer head though.

Honestly my head is so foggy right now. I just didn't want to wait even one day to document this. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude. So excited to be able to move forward to the next step of this journey. We started this adoption journey over 6 years ago. Six years. In 6 weeks we'll have been in process with Haiti for 4 of those years. We still have about another year to go, but we are so excited to know who our children are! Where they are! To know that we'll be able to hold them in a few short weeks!! I feel so, so grateful.

Baby updates (do you see what I did there?)

So, just a couple little updates...

Mark and I had to update our fingerprints (yes, again) for our background checks. We couldn't line up our schedules last week so I did mine on Tuesday and Mark did his on Thursday (the only 2 days our police department offers fingerprinting). I took the fingerprints and filled out paperwork up to the agency on Thursday (10/25) and checked that off my list. It was fun to have someone in the office congratulate me on our match to the twins.

I've been able to find some pictures of the twins on social media. Chances 4 Children has social media pages that I've been able to scour and collect screenshots of them into an iPhoto album to save. I love looking at their little faces throughout the day and before I go to bed at night. The boys have also loved seeing some more recent pictures than the baby pictures we had from last October!

I bought some baby clothes. Retail therapy? Maybe. In any case I wanted to have some summer clothes to take to the orphanage to leave there and there were some great clearance sales to shop summer stuff since it's October...so I had to right?? Anyway, I snapped one photo of an outfit while I was unboxing stuff and am including it here because today I was able to take it (and one other outfit) to Chareyl to take our girls!

I was bringing Chareyl a letter and picture to take to Nelie Chery (we sponsor her education in Haiti) for her Haitian Roots trip that she leaves on this week. I figured that I would see if it was ok for her to take a couple outfits to the twins along with a couple photos of us. She said that she would, and that made me so very happy! She will try to get to the orphanage itself, but if not then she will be meeting with a representative from the orphanage that she will give it to for us. It feels so good to be able to not only buy something for them...but to also be able to send it to them to wear!! Oh how I would love to be able to see a picture of them wearing those clothes...or see them wearing them in person soon!!! Which leads me to my last bit of news...

Chareyl said that the document IBESR was waiting on from the orphanage got to them yesterday (October 29th)! Wahoooo! There is a holiday in Haiti Thursday and Friday so they are basically out of the office for the rest of the week (All Saints Day and All Souls Day...kind of like Day of the Dead for Vudoo), but she is optimistic that we could get our referral next week while she is in Haiti! She also said that she would communicate with the orphanage about us hoping to be able to travel over Thanksgiving. How wonderful would that be??

Fingers crossed and sending prayers up that we get our official referral soon so we can start making plans to go meet these two sweet little pumpkins.

How to share the news??

I wanted to dedicate a separate post just to describing how we shared our exciting news of TWINS!!!

While we were actively praying for the blessing of our payment request, and we knew that news would confirm whether there were 1 or 2 children, I was preparing my hear that it was likely one (and I had been praying specifically that if that were the case I would feel the confirmation that this was our child and wouldn't feel any disappointment at there not being a twin)...and we didn't think we'd get any other information at the payment request that just that. Since it was a sibling group they legally fall under a "special needs" adoption category so Chareyl was able to advocate for us to be matched to them specifically, and could thereby tell you who they were once we received our match and payment request.

So! We ended up not only with a payment request but also with news of twins! That it was two girls! What orphanage they are at! And that it was the specific twins I'd seen a picture of and asked about a year ago! Lots of news that we didn't expect.

When I got off the phone with Chareyl I was flooded with adrenaline. I wanted to tell Mark right away, but tried to quickly think of some sort of fun way to share the news with him. I jumped in the car and sped to our nearby craft store where I bought two little pumpkins (appropriate for this season and I also think the term pumpkin' is adorable for a little child). Then I chose two different "It's a Girl" helium balloons and attached them to the pumpkins. I sped to Mark's office with the said items in big white bags. He actually called me while I was en route so I came up with some excuse that I was headed to Harmons near his work and since he happened to be on his lunch maybe I'd stop by and show him something a neighbor dropped off as I was leaving (it was the best I could come up with on the spot).

So, I tried to keep my cool when I got there and told him that a neighbor dropped something funny off and it would be more amusing if I could set it up on his desk and have him come in and see it. He bought it and left his office. I locked the door quietly for good measure and set everything up. When he came in I was filming his response with my phone which threw him off, but he saw the balloons and said, "Really?" (meaning did the payment request really come?). I told him yes and kept filming waiting for it to sink in that there were TWO balloons and TWO pumpkins. I caught him too off guard and so did the fact that he was being filmed. I told him to look closer at what was on the desk. He began examining the balloons and the pumpkins until I finally blurted out that, "There are TWO!"

Mark was in shock for a bit, then we hugged and got a little emotional and then Mark just couldn't wrap his mind around it. It was a lot of fun for me.

When it came to telling the boys, we originally thought we wanted to keep the news a secret from most everyone (which obviously means you can't tell the kids) until we got the official referral, but we quickly realized that wasn't going to happen. We worried they'd overhear us talking, or it would slip, or one of the couple people we wanted to tell would say something in front of their kid on accident...so we decided to tell the boys.

We did tell the boys right away that we got our payment request and that meant our referral should be coming soon (they would have picked up on the buzz at our house anyway). Then we said we wanted to have a family meeting about the adoption to talk about it and answer any questions. I bought two little beanie-boo soft toy unicorns and put them in a gift bag. 

We told them we wanted to get a little something for their sister that they could give to her someday and remember this exciting week for our family. Then we let them open it. There were two unicorns, but it didn't mean anything to them. After about a minute of coaxing we got more direct in our questioning and here is how that went:

So much fun!

I had the idea of telling a few close friends and family members of our news by giving them items that were in twos and letting them figure it out (that was fun). I was able to get clips of most people's responses so I'm going to compile a short one second video compilation of them and I'll include it here when it is done. What a fun, joyous thing to have people excited and happy to celebrate in our good news with us!

Now, if we can just get that referral so we can go meet our girls! Chareyl did tell us on Thursday (October 18th) that she has the receipt from IBESR for receiving and logging our payment, but that they requested one more document from the orphanage. (Bummer, but I'm glad they are being thorough) Luckily the orphanage said they have it, so we are praying they will get it to them quickly and there won't be any major delays in issuing our referral so we can travel in November!!

Sometimes when you pray for a miracle...

Two days after I wrote my last blog post (so on October 11th) we got the exciting news that IBESR issued our payment request!! Falling quickly on the heels of the good news of our approved match this was very exciting!  I wanted to share how things unfolded that day. Even though it feels cemented in my mind now, I want to make sure it stays that way.

After dropping my kids off at school that Thursday morning I became fixated on changing Chareyl's ringtone in my phone. I had the idea the night before of making her ringtone the Hallelujah chorus, but hadn't been able to figure it out. It felt like a triumph for me when I was able to successfully figure out how to modify that song file to use it as a ringtone. I smiled to myself as I imagined the day I would hear that song ring out as from the heavens precluding long awaited news (Chareyl doesn't usually call, she usually emails or texts, so a call would be something which warranted such an appropriate prelude).

I proceeded that morning with getting several things done around the house and found myself feeling increasingly impatient and emotional. I found myself putting away laundry in my closet and in an effort to sooth my soul I began to pray out loud. I asked for comfort. I thanked my Father in Heaven for the tender mercies we had recently been blessed with and for the abundance we enjoy in our lives. Then I pled with Him outlining specific things I was doing that I felt He had asked of me. And then I petitioned him that PLEASE could we get our payment request soon?

I proceeded to pray that I trusted that His hand was guiding this adoption, but that I felt so weak and that it would really help me just to know if this match was for 1 or 2 children (we would be able to tell because the fee would be doubled). I reminded Him that before we started this adoption journey 6 years ago that we had really prayed about whether to list 1 or 2 children on our parameters. I was ok with either one, but just wanted a clear answer on which was right for us so I could imagine and prepare for that. If we had the confirmation that it should only be 1 child we would have been good with that, if we received the answer that it should be 2 we knew the wait could be longer but we would accept that also. So, we prayed about both options...and the answer we got was that we should list the paperwork as being open to either one and leave it in His hands. Frankly, I wasn't crazy about that. I very much prefer to be able to have control over things. To control the variables. To limit unknowns. None of these things lend themselves well to an adoption journey. Just saying.

We did feel strongly that we should leave our parameters open to 1 child or 2 children of the same age parameters - knowing that meant one child or twins, and that twins were unlikely (and even more unlikely with younger age parameters that we had). Even as we increased our age parameters 3 times over the entire process, we continued to feel like we needed to leave that open to either 1 or 2. We continued to be told how unlikely it would be for us to get twins, and I told VERY few people that we had even left our parameters open to that. I didn't want people to think that we would be disappointed if we were indeed matched with a single child. And, embarrassingly, I was even a tiny bit worried about "jinxing" things (I secretly really wanted twins). Both times that we were pregnant (each time by in-vetro fertilization) I lost a twin very early in the pregnancy. I always felt like I was going to have twins, but I didn't know if that was just because I knew the odds were high playing the fertility game...or if most women felt the fascination with having twins that I did. I didn't want to have twins for the novelty of it though...that feeling of that I simply would have twins has just been there for well over a dozen years of my life. The real reason I felt a desire to have 2 children if that was right for us was so that our daughter would have a sibling that shared her ethnicity and heritage with her. She will look so different that our family and our community. And while WE may not always remember to notice that difference I know that she will feel it. I love the idea of her having someone else that can share in those feelings with her and relate to them. I know having a sibling won't change or erase that experience, but it does offer camaraderie in it that I as a white mother won't be able to offer.

So! After all these years of trying to trust where we were led - beginning with choosing an agency and country to adopt from, choosing parameters we felt were right...to changing countries & agencies and changing age parameters. We tried to be prayerful and trusting in each stage even though some of those changes were painful...we trusted that it was all part of a bigger plan. At this point I was just so weary of not having answers to what that bigger plan was. I ached for information! And so I proceeded with my prayer petitioning for that payment request, primarily so I could know if we would complete or family with 1 or 2 more children.

After finishing my prayer I noticed how emotionally drained I felt. But I felt more calm. I felt like after offering that prayer there was nothing more I could do than submit myself to His will and timing. And then...as cliche as it sounds, it was less than 2 minutes after finishing my prayer the Hallelujah chorus began to peal from my phone next to me! I kid you not! I remember kind of snickering at the timing of it all, and saying "Thank you!" out loud (sending that upward).

I tried to wait for a moment just to savor hearing that song like I pictured hearing it when getting this call and then I grabbed my phone. I was shaking. I answered the phone and tried to sound calm (somehow I doubt that I actually did). Chareyl asked me how I was doing. I told her that depended on what she was about to say. She didn't beat around the bush at all. She said, "Well today is the day you have been waiting for. You are the proud mom to 2 year old twin baby girls!"

I literally lost it. I fell to my knees sobbing.

I must not be the only client that has responded this way because Chareyl was so patient with me. Once I managed to compose myself we went about having a conversation about our match. At this point I was so flooded with adrenalin that I can't remember a lot of what was said. I remember that she told me that I knew who the twins were (I'll tell that story in a minute) and that the twins were at an orphanage called Chances For Children. I recognized the name Kathi Juntunen from the documentary Stuck that we own. Chareyl told me that the orphanage is in a city called Kenscoff in the mountains of Haiti and is a wonderful, smaller orphanage with a guest house right across the street. I felt overjoyed and felt that itself was an answer to years of prayers that our child/children would be well loved and cared for (which is simply logistically more difficult to do in a larger orphanage with more strained child to caregiver ratios). After our phone call I went online to read that the orphanage has about 40 children alongside a full-time live in nurse, 32 full time caregivers, and 4 part time caregivers! Amazing! She told me that she felt like I'd be a great match for this orphanage too because they are well organized and give regular updates (with pictures) of the kids while we are waiting to finalize!

Let me tell you the story about the first time I saw the twins' faces! Last October (so Oct 2017) I was intently following pictures posted by people from the Haitian Roots trip. Besides my interest in the school itself I also always love to scour the pictures of children at the orphanage wondering if any of the young girls could be our child! My friend Natalie knows that I do that and mentioned to me that a fitness instructor that she follows on Instagram was on the Haitian Roots trip and I should follow her and check out her pictures. So, of course I did!

Later Haitian Roots posted a video montage of pictures from the trip and in included a picture of said fitness instructor and her husband (which I recognized from following her on Instagram) holding two sleeping babies. I assumed they were girls, but you never know what the orphanage will have available to put on a child. One was in pink and the other was wearing yellow. I could only see the back of the head of one and the face of the other, but they looked so perfect and sweet and peaceful and my heart practically leapt out of my chest. I took a screenshot of the photo and showed a bunch of my friends. (It was actually a little tricky to time a screenshot a photo in a video montage, but I was motivated) I sent it to Mark and asked if he thought they could be twins. He cautioned me not to get my heart all wrapped up in stuff like that, but I couldn't help it.

On November 6, 2017 I proceeded to email Chareyl, attach the photo of the twins, and ask her if she knew anything about them...and if she thought our odds were greater or less than 50% of getting twins and a bunch of other questions about twins. I will tell you about Chareyl's response, but first! In the meantime...

I got a Facebook message out of the blue that same day from my cousin Lauren. She was asking me some questions about my hair from my Halloween costume and then happened to mention that one of her good friends was on a trip with Haitian Roots and was posting all about it and she kept thinking about me. Can you see where this is going???

So! I ask my cousin who her friend is that is in Haiti and while waiting for her to respond look at her friend list and see that BreeAnna Cox (the same fitness instructor) is one of her friends. She responded that BreeAnna was the friend she was talking about and told me I should look her up on Instagram. I told her that another friend of mine had just tipped me off to that...and then I sent her the screenshot that I send Chareyl. I asked if she would mind asking BreeAnna if those babies were twins and if she knew anything about them. My cousin did and messaged me right back saying that yes they were twin girls, but that they were already in the process of being adopted.

In the meantime Chareyl responded to my prior email from that day saying that she had "no information on the twin girls" and that it "is difficult to get twins or siblings in the age range that you are requesting". She shut that down fast. It was totally necessary too, but I still felt so drawn to these girls that over the last year I would periodically pull that picture back up on my phone just to look at it and imagine. Little did I know that those little girls who were "already in the process of being adopted" were in fact in the process of being adopted by us!! We just didn't know it yet!...and Chareyl simply could not say anything to us, even though she was already advocating for us to receive a match of those little girls.

Chareyl was the one who had taken that photo I saw a year ago of BreeAnna & her husband holding the girls. After we got our payment request she sent it to me along with 4 other pictures taken from that same day. Noah noticed that they were actually live photos so we could hear the talking going on and Chareyl said in one of them "Sorry, guys...I love you too, but I'm really hoping to get these twins (meaning for us) so I want to get pictures".

It has truly been amusing and humbling to look back in retrospect and see how everything has come together. Not only has God answered our prayers in a big way with the blessing of being matched to these sweet twin sisters...but He has also blessed us with increased faith in Him and reliance in His perfect plan for us. He asked us to stick with this even when it was long, difficult, and taking unexpected paths (changing countries/agencies). He reminded us to turn to Him for comfort. He stretched me until I literally didn't know if I could take it anymore and then made it very apparent to me to correlate faith and prayers with specific, clear testimony building answers to those prayers.

• There is no way you could convince me that it was a coincidence that Chareyl's text (about the judge signing the documents and sending the file to IBESR) would appear right after I followed promptings to reach out to others for prayers and being blessed with such a powerful connected prayer with Him myself.
• There is no way you could convince me that it was a coincidence that I happened to see that picture of the girls flash across a video montage and feel immediately emotionally connected to them...and  to then feel drawn back to that picture for a year until finding out those girls were meant to become part of our family.
• There is no way you could convince me that it's a coincidence that after pouring out my heart in prayer for our payment request so we could know if there were 1 or 2 children, that only moments later the Hallelujah chorus would fill my ears and the desire of my hear would be given to me.
• There is no way you could convince me that it was coincidence that the heartbreak we endured with losing $16,000 and 2 years invested in an adoption didn't set the stage for criteria in choosing our next adoption agency differently...and that this wasn't necessary for the right timing and the right person (Chareyl) to be facilitating our adoption to line things up with these 2 precious little souls to be joining our family. It was. I'm absolutely convinced of that.
• There is no way you could convince me that it wasn't necessary for me to relinquish control of choosing one of the most important parameters of our adoption, in order for me to exhibit enough faith to have it actually come to fruition.
• There is no way you could convince me that these two precious little girls, who I have yet to see in person or hold in my arms, are any less meant to be mine than the 3 beautiful boys we've already been blessed with. I love them. And I think my heart recognized them the first time that I saw that picture.

I want to wrap up this post with something that Chareyl wrote to me last year when responding to my email about the twins. It was exactly what I needed to hear:

"Holly, you have been on a long journey and the Lord has guided you. I don't think it is by accident that you ended up at Wasatch as one of my clients. I know that the Lord guided your path, so I believe for sure HE will guide the rest of the process, and I promise you that I will continue to advocate for you until you are matched with a child or children."

One of the things that I remember clearly from my recent phone conversation after finding out about match with twins was Chareyl saying, "Holly the Lord has moved mountains for you to be matched to these girls". I am so grateful. I'm grateful for all the hard work of Chareyl and Nisthone (her rep in Haiti), but most of all for the tender mercies and blessings of a loving Father in Heaven.

I know we have a long journey ahead of us to get these girls home. (Let's start with the official referral so we can go meet them!) So, I hope that I will be able to come back and read this post and feel the spirit that burns with gratitude and faith in my heart right now. I am so grateful. And while I am weak and impatient at times, I do believe that He is orchestrating all of this perfectly and I love Him so much.

"Sometimes when you pray for a miracle...God gives you two."